So, if you know me in real life or follow me on social media you know I bitched and moaned and freaked out about Thanksgiving for weeks before it happened, but a.) It was my first time hosting b.) I was hosting 20 people (including four children in diapers) c.) We had just moved into our house less than two weeks earlier d.) I came down with a crippling sinus infection a few days before. Here are my notes on how it went and what I'd do differently so I remember next time (which, blessedly, won't be for two years.)

Turkey: Since this recipe called for frozen turkey, and my mom suggested I get 2 16-20 pound birds, I just ordered two frozen Butterball turkeys to be delivered "sometime" the Sunday before Thanksgiving so I could save a few bucks on Peapod. I didn't realize though that larger turkeys require more time to thaw so this stressed me out a LOT, because according to everybody if you cook turkeys at the wrong temperature you will DIE! I know you shouldn't do this but I lowered the temperature in the refrigerator Wednesday night and then Thursday morning thawed it in the tub for as long as I had (an hour and a half.) Eventually I realized that part of my problem was that the turkey was frozen in the inside because the neck was still in there, and I didn't know how to get it out until my mother-in-law showed me that the legs are held in place by the skin and once you free them you can get that disgusting, disgusting turkey neck out. Before I was supposed to put them in the oven there were still ice crystals in the cavity so I rinsed them out with hot water and crossed my fingers. My friend Sarah helped me baste the turkey and put butter under its skin and I sent them on their merry way. I had received conflicting information about how warm you need the turkey to be when it's done. The smaller of the two birds was reading 170 degrees after a few hours so I took it out and it looked pretty good, but I called my mom and she asked if the juices were running clear (they were not: they were running pink.) So I let the larger bird cook longer and it read about 175 when I took it out. That one's skin was much browner and its juices ran clear, so in a panic I put the first bird back in to cook for another half an hour. In the end the second (larger) turkey turned out fantastic and we stopped carving a little bit into the second of two birds because we had more than enough meat. The first bird that I took out of the oven, the smaller one, did have some pink meat on it. So what I would do differently next time is probably buy two smaller birds (because we would have had way too much meat if both had turned out 100% fine) and maybe just get them fresh next time to spare the anxiety of defrosting. Also, maybe I would ask Steve to take the turkey in and out of the oven for me because he has longer arms and is taller than I am--I burned myself numerous times on that super-hot roasting pan. I would use the same recipe again (I did not make the gravy. I just used jarred gravy.)

Sides: I made (or had people make) these sides as I promised. I made one serving of the sweet potatoes (with a few extra pounds of potatoes) and doubled the streusel topping. I doubled the corn, which went quickly (I think that was the star of the show.) I doubled the mashed potatoes and we basically had an entire pan of mashed potatoes left over, so I think next time I would just make one and a half servings of mashed potatoes. I also made Grands because Grands are good.

Settings:  I got these tablecloths from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I did not want to do dishes, especially wash dozens of delicate wine glasses by hand, so I got these wine glasses, these beer/soft drink cups and these plates. I was going to do paper napkins but my mom couldn't handle that so she bought me cream colored cloth napkins from Cost Plus and washed and ironed them for me. It all looked very nice, especially with some festive and fun and relatively inexpensive decorations I got at Pier One. I'd use it all again. Although I wish there was a way of knowing ahead of time whether your tea lights are the ones that go out for no reason.

Sweets: For dessert, I decided to go lighter than what my mom usually did, because people are so full from the main food that they don't need too many choices (and I would always feel sad and look longingly at all the desserts I was too full to eat). My mom had agreed to make her famous pumpkin pie (in fact, she made two and brought some Cool Whip), I bought an amazing Dutch apple pie from my friend Sarah, and I asked my cousin Regina to bring some of her decadently huge chocolate chip cookies. Just in case that wasn't enough, I also bought some vanilla ice cream and my cousins Joe and Vera brought a nice big cookie sampler. There were still tons left over of everything (happily for us), so I wouldn't change anything about that next time. Maybe I'd skip the ice cream.

Booze: We bought a six pack of beer and a few sleeves of pop. That's about it. My dad gave us nine bottles of wine and I asked all the guys in the party who do not host parties of their own to bring beer and wine. We had so much beer and wine we were using the back yard as a cooler. This worked out well. I'd do it again.

Help: This, this was the most important thing. My mom used the bear almost the entire load of Thanksgiving each year and I could tell it really stressed her out and made her miserable. Nobody ever to go to talk to her at Thanksgiving because she was running around so much. I got so much help though (especially from my mom). Even weeks the big day, Stacey Ballis coached me patiently and listened to my thousands of questions and even sent me a .zip file containing recipes, a shopping list and a weeklong schedule. My friend Lisa Leone, who has hosted many times, also gave me lots of advice (including, crucically, do not make a fancy salad. Nobody wants salad that much.) My mom loaned me lots of equipment and the Tuesday before, came over, along with my aunt and cousin so they could help me make the sides (IE they basically totally made three of the sides and washed dishes while I stood around and blew my nose.) The day of, my father-in-law carved the turkey. My mother-in-law ran items around and answered the door and took coats. My brother played bartender. Steve washed dishes and took out the trash constantly. My cousin Regina stood by and reassured me that things would be fine and advised when dishes needed another ten minutes in the oven and took the Grands out and put them in the bowl for me. Every time someone asked for help, I fought that old urge to say "no" and just said the one thing that I could have someone do--get out some forks, put that dish in the sink, whatever--I did. And I was so happy and grateful for it all. I even got to sit down and eat with everyone.

Secret weapon: Right before dinner I deployed my secret weapon. Just in case everything turned out to be a mess--the turkey raw, the sides inedible, the servingware chintzy--I pulled the trigger on the one thing I knew would make everyone forgive me. I told them all I'm pregnant.

Fortunately, I didn't have to deploy the secret weapon, since everything turned out great and even on time. But still, it was a fun little extra to what was turned out to be a wonderful holiday anyway. This particular turkey is due to come out of the oven on 5/29.