When I was an adolescent-to-young adult, my mom would instruct me to suck in my gut when I was trying on new clothes. I would roll my eyes and feel offended because to me this read as "You are fat." She would get annoyed with me because that wasn't what she meant. However I could never see it as anything but an aspersion on my body: if I had something to suck in, that must have meant my body was quite hideous. 

Then the other day, I was at a friend's party when somebody told me I looked great. Because I am a woman and can't take a compliment/ I feel like postpartum "looking great" does not really equal "looking great" I downplayed it by saying "I'm just sucking it in." Then I showed how horrible I really look by showing how far I can push out my stomach.

My friends and I got into a big discussion about "sucking it in." My friend Julie shared how she was taking a family photo with her husband and instructed him to suck it in and she defended the call. She wasn't critiquing his body. She was just giving him a little advice on how to get it together more, like to stand up straight or smile more naturally. Sucking it in is an aesthetic choice.

What I realized to my shock is that just about everybody sucks it in! I thought for years that I had two different bodies: the one I wore out in public and the one I basically only let hang out when I was alone (but not in the shower, because what if I accidentally saw myself in the mirror while not sucking it in.) People would be shocked if they saw the difference. They'd think I was two different people. Now I know that everybody is capable of this amazing transformation.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to suck it in. This is not pro sucking in. It is merely liberating to realize that I can finally throw away the assumption I had when I first started being tortured by the existence of flat-bellied girls in my junior high class (I dreamed about a flat belly the way I'm sure other girls dreamed about boobs or good butts.) I really used to think that if you had anything to suck in, you were automatically fat. Like, there were people out there who physically couldn't suck it in if they tried and that was what one should aspire to.

Now I know. Everyone can suck it in. It is completely independent from weight. We all can do it or ignore it. I see now what my mom was talking about (and thank her for the years of experience of sucking it in.)

I am free to let it all hang out. Of course now I keep it up because I hear it's good for my back. So I basically went from age 12 to 82 in one day.