1.) Discomfort.
"Who are all these people? Can they tell we don't belong here? Is there a way they know we got a special deal on this stay? Do people seriously take their little kids here? Who are these people?"
2.) The free things
"Which of the five flavored waters in the spa did you like best?" "Did you see they have free waterproof diapers by the pool?" "Look--apple cider and cookies in the lobby!" "I just put your boots outside the room because they do shoe shines for free." "They have totally brand-new magazines in the gym." "I am totally taking these earplugs home." "Even the pencils are nice."
3.) Acceptance
"Everything here, while absurdly expensive, is the best."
4.) Ecstacy
"Everybody here is so nice! This is utopia! And it's not just because I'm slightly buzzed at noon and am sitting in a hot tub."
5.) Arrogance
"We totally belong here. Why don't we come here once a month?"
6.) Reality
"Breakfast for two without drinks just cost us $90."
7.) Checkout/mourning
"I'm going to stand over here while you pay so I don't hear how much it cost."
8.) Affirmation of where you stand in the world of fancy hotels
"I just tried to tell a woman outside that her tire was flat and she rolled the window up as I approached the car."
pg91977
I've got this beat. Try the fancy hotel WITH the kid. Last year my wife had a conference at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey, so we turned it into a vacation and brought our (then) almost three year old daughter so we could do the Disney thing after the conference was done. We left her 1yr old brother at home.
So think of everything you listed above, but then add a three year old climbing all over and jumping on and off everything in the lobby and running to get everywhere.
Upside - 1. Montel Williams was staying there at the time. 2. I was able to tell the valet to park our rental Chevy next to the Bentleys.