Sometimes people say "I don't know how you do it," referring I guess to the amount of stuff I do in a day/week/month/year. Part of it is just naturally being busy, but really, right now I don't feel like I'm doing "it." Here's where I feel like I'm lacking these days, creatively:

• I regret that I haven't been able to blog as much here as I used to--not because of time so much as just not having ideas sparking from my fingertips that make it here. It's not just the ideas, too--I'm spread thinner creatively right now, which is not something I should complain about, really--it's a good thing that if I have an idea, I'm able to think of a few outlets that will pay me for the ideas, but in my dream world, I'd be able to write those freelance pieces and then also toss off (what I hope would be) insightful or funny little nuggets here as well.
• I wish I could delight in working in my novel more. I once was on a panel with Cristina Henríquez, a wonderful, kind, successful writer, and somebody asked us what keeps us writing when we don't feel like it. I answered first, saying "I like seeing my name in print," and people laughed, and then she answered something like (this is what I remember; it may not be totally accurate) "Sometimes my characters just start talking to me and I can't stop writing," and I felt like a jerk, both for my facile answer and also because I don't feel like that kind of artist. I never really have been and I feel that way even less so now. Which makes me wonder: should I slog and push forward or just quit if it feels like a lot of work? Neither is a very attractive option.
• I let my commute dominate me. My drive to work is 45 minutes to an hour and I am looking for ways to get to work and just WORK, because I know mornings are most productive. I'm trying to streamline my to-do list (instead of having a lot of things to try to do a little bit per day, trying to focus more on fewer things), and I need to just turn off my email and social media in the morning. But it's hard to fight that desire to "reward" myself a little bit with settling-in time after I get into the office, but that time quickly snowballs into energy and creativity suckers which makes it harder for me to get to my dayjob work, which makes me feel bad because it's enjoyable work. I'm sure there are little tricks out there how not to let yourself get behind the eight-ball mood and productivity-wise after a commute: I need to be more proactive about finding them.
• I worry that I'm just getting older and that creative side of me is getting tired. Even if I can address all the things above that still doesn't change the fact that I have other obligations than I did when I was 23 and need to prioritize time for my health (IE sleeping, exercise, not going out to eat all the time.) Sometimes I worry that I'm just doomed to get older and be pulled in even more directions and get tireder and lose all my spark.
• Being pregnant, in the winter, makes me kind of gloomy. Even though it is nice not to be hot and sweaty all the time.

However, I am aware that being a creative person means riding these waves of feeling on top of everything--ideas popping, connections firing, all of "it" getting done, somehow--and feeling like a fraud who should have gone to law school or something instead. So yes, I can address some of the things above, but I think most of all I just need to wait until the next wave comes, and lifts me out of this.