Autobiography opens with a cut-out photo of Steven Patrick Morrissey, poet-king of the misunderstood, as a smiling toddler wearing sunglasses. His life is all downhill from there:

1.  "Throughout these years I am a largely bedridden child unwilling to keep death at bay. Hope remains only via television, which shows me what might happen to me should I manage to live to be fully grown. "
   
   
2. "But Roxy Music will drop quickly from the emotional radar soon, as singer Brian Ferry announces that his favorite food is veal - second only to foie gras in cruelty."
   
   
3. "At last I am face to face with Marc Bolan....I am nothing and look nothing. 'Could I have your autograph?', I ask softly. 'Oooh no,' he says, and slowly walks away to nowhere - unavailable to the outside world. I nod with all the shyness of adolescent modesty, as if understanding the catastrophic trouble I had brought upon him by asking....On this day of buried disappointments, the show biz version of Marc Bolan probably relishes the socially trapped condition, yet there is no one here but I - a member of his audience to whom he once turned for confirmation of what he was, and I gave to him as he to me. Ah, but not today - shadow close, swift as a swallow..."
   
   
4. "Of his band A Certain Ratio, Simon Topping tells me: 'We're doing a cover of Frankenstein by the New York Dolls.' I ask Jesus exactly how I am expected to take such news."
   
   
5.  "The champagne does not flow, and indeed there will never be one instance in the Smiths' history with Rough Trade when Geoff would treat the band to a lavish none-too-cheap dinner or salutary clink of earthenware."
   
   
6. "I vomit profusely when I discover that the album has been pressed in Japan with Sandie Shaw's version of Hand in Glove included. I am so disgusted by this that I beg people to kill me. Many rush forward."
   
   
7. "Even our support band in the UK (Easterhouse) edge on to the Billboard 100, yet Sire cannot manage a hit single for the Smiths themselves - not even after two voluminous tours of screaming hysteria and stage invasions. There is no one in the wings to document or organize, and not even an America photo-session is suggested. Still travelling economy, the Smiths conclude each tour penniless - the funny and the lonely side of it all. Our mouths taped shut, we had no idea that the young audiences of America and Canada would be so feverish. Rolling Stone repeatedly said, 'No thanks,' and have kept their word for thirty years, yet they will applaud any sub-Smiths progeny who taps on their bunker. But that's life. Go first and be sure of a hard time."
   
   
8. "I begin the vocal for Stop me if you think you've heard this one before, when Stephen stops me, even though he hasn't heard this one before. 'Er, Morrissey, I think there's a grammatical error here -"who said I lied because I never"...' he aids, helpfully. 'Yessssssssssss,' I hiss, like an adder on heat, 'it's meant to be there,' and now I know how Joan of Arc felt."
   
   
9. "Suddenly David Bowie telephones the studio and asks to speak to me. I am thrilled, but he tells me that he would like me to do a cover of one of his recent songs, and he stresses that if I don't do the cover, 'I will never speak to you again, haha,' which is hardly much of a loss since David doesn't ever speak to me." (Author's note: David Bowie speaks to Morrissey several times over the course of this book.)
   
   
10. Jake and I have scarcely spoken to one another, so he can't possibly know that I have long-since passed the stage of attending any table where dead animals are served up as food. I therefore automatically stand up and walk out of the restaurant....Whether this is considered irritating or rude by the gluttonous carnivore is of no interest to me."
    
    
11. "I cannot be robbed of anything that matters, but the Smiths are dead, and it's so lonely on a limb."
    
    
12. "As life begins to formulate some fashion of normality, the events of 9/11 are nonetheless used forevermore as a reason for policing authorities to treat the public abysmally, and nowhere is this more apparent than the gratuitous rudeness of airport and airline staff. From this moment onwards I shall never again use a domestic American airline."

Stephanie Kuenn occasionally regrets reading Morrissey's autobiography. You can read a very old interview with her here.

You can purchase Morrissey's autobiography here.