I have some good friends who are due to have their first babies in the next few months and I'm so excited for them. I'm also holding my tongue because there are some truths about having a newborn in the house that I think people just don't tell first-time moms because it's not nice to pile on a person while her body is out of whack and she's swimming in hormones. I'm not sure if it's for the best, though, because from my point of view, there's a little too much sweet myth to what new moms are supposed to feel and do with newborns. I don't know if it would have helped me, necessarily, or I would have welcomed some not-so-happy truths, but I might have felt a little less alone.

So for those who are up for it, below are the things I wish someone had told me (maybe) about life with a newborn. (This was originally in white font but that was hard for people on mobile devices to read so I pushed it way down to the bottom of the page, so scroll scroll scroll if you want to read it now, and come back if you don't.) Don't be scared! You'll be fine.

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You will never  be "done" with laundry for the foreseeable future. There will always be something that needs to be washed. Just accepting this is more than half the battle.

Same with dishes (this may be on a delay if you are breastfeeding but once you switch to bottles, look out.)

You will realize that there are some problems (like getting the baby to sleep) that do not have solutions, although you will be mistakenly led to believe there are solutions thanks to all the advice out there. This frustration--being made to think you have control when you really don't--is (almost) as bad as the problems themselves.

Similarly, you are sold a line that makes you think that you and your newborn have a special bond and you both know each other thanks to the time it spent growing in the womb. If this is true for you, good for you, but it is not true for all people. You are exhausted and have no idea what you are doing. The baby is exhausted and has no idea what it is doing nor does it have the ability to show any real type of love or appreciation. Everyone is in your face asking you if you just feel amazed by the life you created and aren't you over the moon and secretly you might think No, I do not, not really, but I'm supposed to, so maybe I am terrible for not feeling that way.

You'll wonder if things will ever be normal with your spouse again. You'll fight more than you ever thought was possible.

You'll wonder if anything will ever be normal again, from your sleep to the state of your house to the way your body feels.

You will be too tired to figure out how to let people help you. The following are some good places to start:
●    do laundry
●    fold laundry
●    get groceries for you
●    put away dishes
●    walk the dog
●    make dinner
●    bring over some toilet paper
●    watch the baby while you take a nap or go for a walk by yourself

On that walk you'll contemplate just walking forever and never returning.

You will be too tired and confused to even know what you want or need. Being home alone is boring and lonely and having people over is overwhelming, even under the best of situations. So you cry.

You cry so very much.

Your face is going to change. You're going to look older. Not necessarily in a bad way, believe it or not.

You'll understand why some people shake their babies. You won't do it--of course--but you'll sort of get it.

You will eventually feel a type of happiness you never felt before and understand all the cliches of parenting, but this type of pleasure simply doesn't arrive as soon as you think it's supposed to. But it does eventually, and it's important to end on a happy note.