Hey, I contributed to a piece on the Onion AV Club site (I wrote about King Tut, possibly my favorite novelty song of all time.)

I was listening to sports radio the other day when the White Sox were having a nice winning streak and heard a commercial for a strip club. This is nothing new, but I was struck by the tenor of the commercial. It went something like "Guys, are you sick of those SNOBBY girls at clubs who won't give you the time of day? Come to Shadows [or whatever; I don't recall which club it was] where you don't have to work to get these girls' clothes off." Then, at the end, "If you have a guy friend who's considering taking the plunge, take him to Shadows for a bachelor party that will make him reconsider!"

I've heard the "cold shoulder" line in strip club commercials before but in a way that indicated that "while other girls are mean to you, the girls at this club are friendly and make you feel good! Aren't they great?" This commercial though struck me as appealing solely to guys who want to see women take their clothes off because they hate women. Can you believe these stuck up bitches who don't get naked for you just because you want them to? Well check them out at Shadows, where they're giving you what you deserve without any attitude or lip or asking for affection or respect or dinner.

I don't question strip clubs. I don't think they're awesome but I think there are greater injustices in the world (at least the women at clubs get paid in cash and not just hats and t-shirts.) But if I ran a strip club, I would go the route of actually glorifying women while objectifying them, because then you'd get a happy clientele and group of employees--like Hooters! If you're going to convince your guests that they are somehow owed nudity, then they won't be impressed with any extra attention which translates to less tips.

That's your daily dose of strident feminism from me. Can you please make your strip club commercials slightly less misogynistic, please Mr. Strip Club owner? Thank you.