Today is the day to lower the shades.
There is literally only ONE T-SHIRT LEFT! Buy it now!
Quiz: What's Your Real Age?
What most closely matches what you've eaten in the last few hours?
a.) Molecules
b.) Carrot sticks, whole wheat crackers an apple in the afternoon, and then three pieces of pizza, Coke and three fudgsicles at night
c.) Three burritos but that's only because it was late night, OK? Diet starts tomorrow!
d.) Whatever is flowing through my I.V.
e.) Sand
How often do you defecate?
a.) I haven't yet formed an intestine, let alone buttocks with which to expel my waste.
b.) Gross!
c.) Omigod, you talk about this stuff too?
d.) About once a month
e.) I believe I still have some petrified matter embedded within my corpse.
Are you sexually active?
a.) Technically, I am sexual activity
b.) Gross!
c.) Omigod, always.
d.) Don't be fresh.
e.) Yes, with the virgins in heaven.
Do you smoke?
a.) No, but I can't wait to start
b.) Gross!
c.) Only when I'm drinking, and also after the gym and once "The Bachelor" is over and sometimes in the morning too.
d.) I used to, four packs a day, before my mouth was removed.
e.) I was executed on a pyre: does that count?
Do you believe in God?
a.) I just said goodbye to him last week.
b.) Yes--he has a beard, right?
c.) I am totally spiritual.
d.) Yes and if He doesn't exist I'm going to be mad.
e.) I died at the hands of a man who said he was God, so I'll say yes.
Your best friend in the world is:
a.) My twin, who I'm about to absorb
b.) Cadee, and after that is Cacie, and after her, Houston, and after her, Peyton, and after her, Oona.
c.) You are. You totally are. Do you want to do a shot?
d.) The woman who brings me jello.
e.) My wife/sister
If you answered mostly a's:
You are a fetus, possibly a zygote
If you answered mostly b's:
You are somewhere between 8 and 12 years old.
If you answered mostly c's:
You are college-to-immediately post-college aged.
If you answered mostly d's:
You are about 90 years old.
If you answered mostly e's:
You are a 9,000 year old mummy