Today is the day to give someone an almost too-dangerous dare.

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Reasons Why Chicago Would Be Better Than Rio de Janeiro to Host the 2016 Olympics

More fat people=more self-confident Olympians and guests

More people speak our language

Less kidnappings

Less laborious to spell the word "carnival" instead of "Carnivale"

Everyone knows that anorexic Eastern Europeans are in and voluptuous Brazilians are out. Let's just split the difference.