Some of My Favorite Celebrity Downfalls

Today is the day to blast a trail out of bedrock.

Listen up: Team Karen is trailing, sadly. "The Office" airs tomorrow where Karen and Pam meet face to face. Order your shirt and show your pride today. You won't get it by tomorrow but at least you'll bask in the satisfaction of knowing one is on its way.

Some of My Favorite Celebrity Downfalls

There are some celebrities that I'm a big fan of. I can't think of any right now, though, because it's 8:00 AM and thus I hate everything. But really, more than loving celebrities, I love it when they fall apart. It's much more fun to watch someone throwing around the c-word or getting their boob touched in a MacDonald's or crying their fake eyelashes off on TV than seeing them be poised and gracious and pre-recorded.

The definition of a celebrity downfall can be nebulous, but I'd like to put forth the definition that a downfall definitely means that at the time of the downfall, said celebrity is not at the top of his/her game and not using the moment to promote herself. So, some could say Paris Hilton's sex tape was a downfall era, but really, that was her launching pad--plus, we all know her kryptonite is simply people not talking about her. So I wanted to evaluate some of my favorite downfalls over the last few years. And the nice thing is that a downfall is never permanent--although that doesn't mean that you can only have one:

Britney:

In comparison to some other's, was almost sweet, sort of a parable. Be a good girl and marry a good boy or else you'll get fat, and trashy, and super-pregnant. But she's out of that, now, with two beautiful (I presume the other one is beautiful) babies and a killer bod and ready to take on the world! Until she realizes that her audience has grown up but we'll save that for later.

Whitney Houston:

This was sort of fun at first, because Whitney always seemed too perfect--too good a singer, too good looking and thin, too diva-ish, too "Star Spangled Banner." She and Bobby were the original Britney and Kevin. It culminated in the delightful Diane Sawyer "I have too much money to ever smoke crack" interview. After that though it just got a little, well, old. So I'm glad she came out of it (waiting for that inevitable award show moment where she makes a surprise entrance) and can't wait to see what happens to Bobby.

Lindsay Lohan:

Like a beautiful, black, sleek shiny sports car getting into a crash so deadly you feel afraid even being in the vicinity of it. Also, she, unlike the other people in this list, is either in the midst of hers or just beginning it.

Courtney Love:

Maybe the best. Because we sort of get it all, with Courtney. Drugs, weight gain, erratic behavior, weight loss, plastic surgery. But she still keeps coming back and also, her kid makes me like her more.

There are so many more that I don't have time for or that I'm forgetting. What, who, when and why have been some of your favorite celebrity downturns to observe? I'm leaving out a few obvious ones because I know some of you out there can do them poetic justice. Email them in to me and I'll share and we'll all feel good thinking "Well, I might be fat and poor but at least I've had total control over who sees my private parts and when for most of my life.