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Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com Helps the Fellas

Hello Mrs. Zulkey,

Thanks for your seemingly unending devotion to resolving the queries of your readers. I hesitate to take more than my humble share of your question-answering time, but if I may be so bold, I have two inquiries. First, how exactly can I go about meeting nice girls? Also, could you share a tasty and cheap recipe using rice? I have lots of the stuff, but no idea what to cook it with. Thank you again.

 

My Dear Sir,

All girls are nice.

But the really nice girls like to do nice things for people. They're out there, waiting for someone helpless, clueless and vulnerable to come along who needs their help. That person could be you! If you spot some promising young thing in the bookstore, ask her to suggest a book for your dear Mother's birthday. Your lovely neighbor or co-worker would jump at the chance to recommend a dry cleaner or local restaurant. Ask for directions. I think you see what I'm getting at here. This works well, even with me, a timeworn veteran, who was touched by that pitiable question about your rice surplus. I'm more than happy to respond as follows:

The very tone of your query suggests two things. First, the rice you're talking about is not arborio, jasmine, basmati, campanini, brown, wild, Asian black, nor Bhutanese red, but good old long-grained white rice. Second, you'd like to rustle up something extremely basic.

A simple, inexpensive dish would be anything Chinese. Try stir-frying chicken strips seasoned with a little salt and MSG in oil until they're white. Mix in a couple of tablespoons each of sherry and soy sauce and about a cup of chicken broth. Add anything you like to this: bean sprouts, sliced green onions, mushrooms, pea pods, bok choy, et al., and cook another 3 minutes or so. Mix 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch with a small amount of water, add it to the skillet, stirring until the sauce thickens. Season to taste. Then serve it over lots and lots of rice.

This would be lovely to serve to your new girlfriend, because nice girls like nice boys who are nice to them.

Bon Appetit!

Mrs. Zulkey

Mrs. Zulkey.com can help you with your problem, whatever it is. She's my mom. Besides, I think she likes answering your questions more than you like getting your questions answered. Send in a question.