Paris Hilton bites the hand

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Today is the day to find out what kind of fruit is fresh today.

My new columnist is ready to take your questions Send my mom a question or she will cut you.

The videos of Steve Delahoyde will be shown at the Lincoln Lodge this weekend, Chicagoans. Come out for some laffs and huge beers.

Recent quote from Paris Hilton in an interview with the Associated Press:

"I donít really read anything on the Internet except my AOL mail. I donít like people who sit on computers all day long and write about people they donít know anything about."

Hilton also went on to say:

"I don't like people who sit at home all day watching television, especially reality TV shows on the FOX network. And people who read celebrity magazines bother me. And people who purchase novelty ghostwritten 'memoirs.' Anyone who watches "Saturday Night Live" is a total douche. People who buy cheap celebrity-driven jewelry off Amazon really need to get a life. E! is a network for morons. Consumers who purchase the personal fragrances of famous people suck. And you know what else I hate? People who watch porn, either that downloaded off the Internet or purchased, legally, from Red Light District videos.

"Also, people who eat at Carl's Jr. or Hardees or the eight brands of the Hilton Family Hotels make me want to puke.

"Also, anybody who sees "House of Wax" is an idiot.

"I just like people who enjoy the outdoors, veganism and political activism. And people who are interested in copyright law are also intriguing. They're hot.®"