Today is the day to wish my mom a happy birthday.

My new columnist is ready to take your questions Send my mom a question and/or birthday wishes at this address.

The videos of Steve Delahoyde will be shown at the Lincoln Lodge this weekend, Chicagoans. Come out for some laffs and huge beers.

Book By Its Cover Review: The Lincoln Park Zoo

You out of towners may not be aware of this but our public zoo here in Chicago has been having some problems lately, namely, that our animals keep dying. Within a pretty short period of time, the zoo has lost three elephants, two gorillas, a camel and three monkeys, plus one monkey's arm.

This is no good, for various reasons. One, that the animals are dying. But also, the LPZ is a wonderful zoo and it really needs to get its act together so it doesn't suffer. The only other zoo we have in the area is the Brookfield Zoo, and while it does feature dolphins and apparently more living animals, it is far away, it's pay, and it's for babies.

So here are a few tips for the zoo:

Remember to feed the animals

Remember to let the animals inside when it's cold

Remember not to pay too much attention to one animal while neglecting another because we all know this leads to death from a broken heart (or a violent attack of revenge.)

Zoo, you still are okay in my book but you need to get it together. Check to make sure that you aren't reading the veterinary books upside down so that you know you are actively trying to keep the animals alive and not accidentally working on killing them.

PS. I like the polar bear.