Today is the day to pronounce chopsticks as "gay."

Book By Its Cover Review: Tom and Kate

First, if you have been living in a hole in another galaxy, this is what I am referring to.

Anyway, the basics. One: this relationship is probably a sham. Two: Tom Cruise is creepy. (One: because both celebrities have big movies coming out this summer and celebrities rarely so are so excited to discuss their romances in public. Two: Have you ever seen his cold, dead look and robotic laughter on talk shows? He is weird.)

So we know it's strange and everyone has had their say in it. But I have to say, from Katie Holmes's perspective, this relationship is probably a good deal. First and foremost, when was the last time you heard the name "Katie Holmes" mentioned so much?

But also, even though it's Tom Cruise of all people, there must be something sort of neat of at least having a sham relationship with your teenage crush. If somebody asked me if I would mind if one of the nine thousand famous people I had a crush on in high school could ferry me around Europe, kissing me and talking about how he was "more than enamored" of me while we promoted my film, I won't lie: that would be pretty cool. Even if it was all a fake.

So don't hate, everyone, you know you wouldn't mind it yourself. Unless it was with Tom Cruise. But still, that's at least not muc h worse than dating this guy.