Today is the day to tell the same joke over and over again.

Other Ways to Tell Your Date She's Eating Too Much

Ask her if she saw the "no fat chicks" clause on your Match.com profile

Grab her stomach flab and don't let go until she's done eating

Make a drawing of a pig with an arrow pointing to it with the word "you" at the other end

Maybe she doesn't know what she's doing. Teach her a lesson. When it's your turn to order, say "I'm a big fat girl who thinks that just because she's on a date means that she can stop worrying about what she looks like! Duh duh duh. I'll have the chicken pot pie! Yum yum! There go my buttons!" She might get the picture.

Before she orders, say "I didn't bring enough money to pay for anything more than a salad for you."

As you order, point out other fat women in the restaurant.

Plan a preemptive strike: Never take her out to dinner.

If she DOES overeat despite your helpful suggestions, when she uses the powder room, ask hopefully, "Are you going to go throw up?