Today is the day to know I have a Magnum P.I. trading card.

Associated Press: Camilla Parker Bowles does not want to be queen.

"No, it's okay. No really. No--seriously, I'm totally serious. I don't want to make a big thing about it. It's okay! It's not like you'll end up being king anyway.

"Ok, I'm sorry. You will absolutely be king, I don't know why I said that. And I will be there to support you: as your wife and best friend and lover...just not your queen.

"But it's all right! I don't want to rock the boat. Do you mind, if you do become king, if I take the title 'Princess Consort'? Because that still means I'm part of the royal family-your royal family, but without all that queen business. I was thinking either 'Princess Consort' or 'Not Queen.'

"And who wants to be queen, anyway? Not me. Not all little girls who grow up in Britain. Too much fuss, anyway. 'Princess Consort' sounds a lot more like my style. Actually, how about "Mrs. Windsor" instead? I think that's more about what I'm all about. Your wife, who sticks with you through thick and thin. By your side. Always. Keeping an eye. On you.

"Anyway, I'm going to go check out the tiaras: I'm sure they have one tiny enough for the Princess Consort. I don't even want to look at those queen's crowns. They'll make me want to throw up. No, sweetie, absolutely, this is what I want. Goodbye, now. How do you like the new wave I'm trying out, by the way?