Today is the day to pick a fight as soon as you can.

Other Emergency Congress Votes Involving People's Private Lives

Paul's Law: Ordering Paul Louis of New York, New York, to take out the garbage for once.

Bill's Law: Ordering Bill Newman of Sacramento, CA to quit scrutinizing over the tip so much at restaurants.

Gail's Law: Telling Gail Sanchez of Seattle, WA to stop stinking up the halls of her apartment building by cooking curry all the time.

Rob's Law: Telling Rob Walters of Albuquerque, New Mexico to cease and desist playing air guitar.

Katie's Law: Ordering Katie Smith of Orlando, Florida, to stop talking about her new boyfriend so much.

Tiffany's Law: Ordering Tiffany Jones of Cleveland, Ohio, to quit being such a straight biyatch.