Today is the day to keep it in the family.
People my age are having babies. That is messed up. (Matt is a friend of mine so I can say it's messed up.)
"Law and Order" Plots (As Generated by This Site)
Tonight on Law and Order:
A dead social worker is discovered in central park by Con-Ed workers. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a deadbeat father, but after a snitch reluctantly informs them of the perpetrator, they arrest a local celebrity. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must skirt the law to win. The old DA calls a press conference and says "That's the way justice works." Don Knotts guest stars.
A kidnapped baby is discovered in the street by a fleeing shoplifter. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on the mob, but after a snitch reluctantly informs them of the perpetrator, they arrest illegal immigrants. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must let Kincaid prosecute to win. The old DA takes a drink and says "Accept what you can change, tolerate what you can't." Rick Moranis guest stars.
A dead drug dealer is discovered on the highway by a bum. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a sleazy, unfeeling pusher, but after a bitter fued is revealed, they arrest a deadbeat father. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must convict of a lesser crime to win. The old DA calls a press conference and says "Advice is like castor oil, easy to give but dreadful to take." Michael Dorn guest stars.
A murdered tourist is discovered by the river by the perpetrator. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a high school student, but after a good samaritan catches the suspect, they arrest an evil doctor. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must overcome a unique defense to win. The old DA takes a drink and says "A wise person cares not for what he cannot have, but for what he can."
A murdered prostitute is discovered in a cab by a jogger. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a junkie, but after a good samaritan catches the suspect, they arrest a deadbeat father. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must confront the mafia to win. The old DA calls a press conference and says "Accept what you can change, tolerate what you can't." Tom Selleck guest stars.
The body of an elderly woman is discovered in a dumpster by a blue-collar man on his way to work. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a foreign nanny, but after a snitch sings like a canary, they arrest a cult. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must let Kincaid prosecute to win. The old DA looks annoyed and says "Advice is like castor oil, easy to give but dreadful to take." Lucy Liu guest stars.
The body of an elderly woman is discovered in the bad part of town by a white-collar man on his way to work. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a schizophrenic off his medicine, but after a new, vital piece of information comes to light, they arrest a cult. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must use DNA evidence to win. The old DA looks annoyed and says "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Christina Aguilera guest stars.
Laura is discovered by the river by a man and his girlfriend, coming back from a night on the town. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a deadbeat father, but after a snitch reluctantly informs them of the perpetrator, they arrest an evil doctor. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must skirt the law to win. The old DA shrugs and says "Accept what you can change, tolerate what you can't." An animated demon guest stars.
A scared child who has been sexually assaulted is discovered in a cab by a man and his girlfriend, coming back from a night on the town. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on a mentally ill serial killer, but after a wrongfully accused prisoner is freed, they arrest the too-obvious lover of the person. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must not push for the death penalty to win. The old DA shrugs and says "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." Jack Lemmon guest stars.
Nick is discovered in a dumpster by Con-Ed workers. Lenny and Curtis initially pin the crime on the innocent seeming guy questioned briefly at the beginning of the episode, but after someone slips up and Lenny catches them in a brilliant display of street-savy and cunning, they arrest the victim's lover. McCoy and Kincaid prosecute, but McCoy must stoop low to win. The old DA takes a drink and says "That's the way the ball rolls." Leonard Nimoy guest stars.