June 4,
2004
Today is the day to avoid Maxwell and that silver hammer.
Everyone has an alter ego. Superman has Clark Kent. Dick Cheney has George Bush. Sean Na Na has Har Mar Superstar. And so on. You probably have on. That person who comes out when you're drunk, high, sleeping, slap-happy, or just not paying attention. I have one as well, of course. She presented herself in sophomore year biology class and her name is Klar (sometimes spelled with a backwards K and/or R.) She's not very bright. In fact, you might say that she's sort of 'special.' She's had some rough times and spent a few bad years in a state care facility. Sometimes she starts fires or breaks things in general. But mostly she's sweet and naive and just wants people to like her. I held off presenting several other more important interviews to you today in order for you to meet this poor human being.
The Klar Interview: Only About 10 Questions Because It's Almost Time for Her Medicine
So, Klar, I hear you've written a book?
yes. i had to rite it for class. it's called 'klar.' its about me! it's ate
pages long.
That's great, Klar. What do people think of it so far?
good. i guess. only me and my friend gerry have readed it so far.
Well, that's two more people than who have read my book! Ha ha!
what?
Do people ever get you confused with me??
no. because you spell yur name with a "K" and I spell my name with
a 'k.' see?
Do you have any big plans for the summer?
yes. i'm going to put my swimsuit on and go in the tub. and eat some berries.
and i heard that maybe we're getting taken on a field trip to indiana beach.
Who are your friends nowadays??
gerry, because he lets me eat his corn at lunchtime. and pauline, becus she
doesn't care when i throw corn at her.
What's the last good movie you've seen?
ummm...breaking away.
Really? Why?
i don't remember.
Klar, is everything all right? You usually seem more chipper than this.
yeah. i'm just tired.
All right. I guess today wasn't a good day to interview you.
no. i guess not. i'm sory.
That's ok. Are you going back to bed soon?
maybe. i dont no.
Well, it was great talking to you!
ok bye.