June 3, 2004

Today is the day to slap your pappy.

CHECK IT OUT--AMAZON FINALLY PUT MY BOOK'S ART UP! PRETTY!

Read the bottom of this. Send me fat fiction. We go next week.

Without a doubt, this is the biggest honor thus far.

Have you noticed the new ad campaign waged by the Recreational Boating and Fishing Foundation? It's perhaps the most dire and flagrantly chokey-upey commercial to come along since the cotton ads. They feature children and old-timers begging to be taken fishing, as apparently this is the only way to bond with your family members. However, it's only getting worse. Here are some of the new tags:

"Take Me Fishing...Because I Want to Tell You It's Time for a Divorce"

"Take Me Fishing...Because I Only Have 2 Hours to Live (and We're Right Near the Lake So We Might as Well)"

"Take Me Fishing, and We'll Have a Moderately Good Time"

"Take Me Fishing..and Teach Me How to Curse"

"Take Me Fishing...and Tell Me About the Side of Mom I Never See"

"Take Me Fishing...Because We're So Drunk it Just Might be Fun"

"Take Me Fishing...Because We're Due for a Good Hook Accident"

"Take Me Fishing...So We Can Get Rid of All These Worms"

"Take Me Fishing...Because We Haven't Had a Good Fight in a While and Spending 4 Hours Together in a Cramped Boat is Sure to do the Trick"

"Take Me Fishing...Because I Really Hate Fish."