November 25, 2002

Today is the day to make a point that makes sense to only 2 people, but on 4 different levels.

A blast from the past. You might recognize this, now on McSweeney's.

No thanks at all to Elizabeth and the McArdles, Whitney Pastorek, Jeff Boison, Lindsay R*berts*n, Will Leitch, Albert James Daulerio the thirtieth, Eric Gillin and the Chrysler Building for making me want to move to New York City.

So, yes, I am a fan of the Thanksgiving, just like every other regular Joe. Food, family, and thanks.

Don't you always feels pressure, though, when asked what you're thankful for, to come up with something really good? Like, something deep and meaningful, but at the same time really unique? I mean, 'my health' is really lame. Plus, there's sort of an insincerity to it. Let's face it: we all might be happy that, say, our country escaped the threat of Level Peuce Terror Alert, but do you really think about how thankful you are for it every day?

Really?

Really?

Well, ok, I'll be th first to admit it; sometimes I just want to give thanks for the stupid things in life, but it's sort of unacceptable to do it.

No more. For instance, here are some silly things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving:

-Febreze, for cutting down my dry cleaning bills, amongst other handy uses.

-Final Draft Screenwriting Program, for making my Second City homework easier to type.

-My cell phone, for waking me up each morning, gently and cheerfully.

-BeneFit LemonAid, for making me look less tired.

-Potbelly Sandwich Works and their Italian sub, for making lunchtime worth living for.

You see? Extremely silly and simple and, dare I say, American. But every time I deal with one of these, I'm thankful for their existence. Of course, I'm also very thankful for friends and family and health and everything, but, hey, I'm just telling it like it is.

Write to me and let's start a revolution. Tell me the trivial, silly, naughty, idiotic things for which you are thankful this Thanksgiving. You don't even have to be American to participate. I'll post them Thanksgiving (that's this Thursday, you nutty non-Yanks). Friday I will spend the day picking mushrooms out of leftover stuffing, and then Monday, it's back to business per usual.