November 19, 2002

Today is the day to get ready for nasty weather.

Psst: I have been looking for an excuse to drop her name for a long time, but the idea behind yesterday's sketch was due to one Stephany Aulenback...

Does anybody else other than me find the Bridgestone Blizzak a little oddly-named? Is there also a Wiggedy-Wack, a Holla!! and a Phatty?

In case you missed it the first time around, on Über I've got something I wrote called "Slut, Whore or Lame-o?" Find out what you are today!

Today's list, courtesy of one Mr. Ed Page:

Various Individuals' Chances at Finding Love with Elizabeth Ellen, According to the Eyeshot Love Calculator

Holly Hobbie: 96.5%
Gene Rayburn: 96.5%
Harvey Page (my father): 96.5%
Emmylou Harris: 95.5%
Rollie Fingers: 95.5%
Hopalong Cassidy: 94.5%
George Washington: 94%
A broken shoelace: 94%
A puddle of vomit: 94%
Pope John Paul II: 94%
"Weird Al" Yankovic: 93%
Florence Nightingale: 92.5%
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: 90%
Bob Hope: 88.5%
Godzilla: 88.5%
Rip Taylor: 87.5%
Tweety Bird: 87%
A piece of dirt: 85%
Charles Lindbergh: 84%
Zorro: 80%
Bigfoot: 79%
Superman: 78.5%
Susan Page (my mother): 77%
Jesus Christ: 76.5%
Captain Marvel: 75.5%
Katie the Kitten: 74.5%
Candyce Wainright (my sister): 74%
God: 71%
Buddha: 69.5%
Me: 69%
Grape Ape: 68%
Papa Smurf: 67.5%
Cher: 60.5%
Fritz the Cat: 56%
Gandhi: 49.5%