Today is the day to get your act together, mister.

So last night was the last episode ever of "The X-Files." For a while, during high school and early college, I was obsessed with this show. I mean, my Instant Messenger screenname is still X-Files related (I'm just too lazy to change it, is all, really.) I didn't love aliens or anything like that; I loved Mulder. In fact, I loved Mulder and Scully even more. I wanted them to be together so badly that I didn't really care about my own personal relationships as much as I cared about theirs. Besides, the best episodes ever weren't the alien conspiracy ones, they were the random little "Twilight Zone" freak nuggets.

But I stopped watching around 1999, mostly because I went to Italy and didn't have time to watch it, but the show changed, anyway. Mulder got kidnapped, or had a sex change, or something. Scully had a baby, or several babies. The "Terminator" joined the cast. Everything suddenly stopped making sense on my favorite FBI alien conspiracy show.

But since it went off the air, I decided to tune in one last time, last night. And, I guess, it was a really nice wrap-up, but the show changed more than I ever thought! In the last few years, for instance, Mulder left the FBI and became an obstetrician (and Scully became a lawyer.) They got married and left Washington DC and moved into a brownstone house in New York. They had five children (and only one boy.) And, suddenly, they were black!

The show was a lot funnier than I remember, but, I have to confess, I was let down by the lack of science fiction and mystery. There weren't any helicopters or explosions or anything, although they did do some entertaining lip-synching with little Rudy Mulder singing the solo. It was weird.

X-Files, I no longer understand you, but I'll miss you.