Today is the day to get somebody else to do it.

I enjoy bringing you the latest in consumer news, which is why I decided to try Crest Whitestrips. Also, I decided to try them because my teeth are pitch-black. Anyway, what you do is you buy these little strips for about $35 and you put them on your teeth for a half hour each...or that's what it says. Actually, you have to wear 4 a day, for a half hour each, for 2 weeks. You don't have to wear them all at once, but it's better just to get it over with.

So you stick these little peroxide-covered strips on your teeth and the peroxide oozes out a little an gets on your tongue or lips, which is just gross enough to dread, but not so bad as to make you actually stop using the strips.

I'm almost a week though, and yes, I'd say my teeth are looking whiter, but they're also in more pain as well. For some reason, peroxide makes your teeth ache, like you've been sucking on ice cubes all day.

All for vanity.

Now that we're back on schedule, I bring you Tuesday's list, my darlings. A girl and a dictionary are a dangerous combination:

Misleading Words

Words That Sounds Okay but Actually Mean Bad Things:
Jingoism
Fundamentalist
Inflammable
Coprolite

Words That Sound Bad but Actually are Harmless:
Jink
Smearcase
Analeptic
Hawsehold