Dear Yogi Akal

The following is based on a press release I have been sent numerous times. Everything but the answers to the questions is from the actual press release.

As seen in ELLE Magazine, CNN, and CNBC, Yogi Akal has been helping people achieve optimal wellness and success since 1973 - with his expertise on alignment and relationships based on NUMBERS. as with only a birthdate, he can chart individual maps of life and assess compatibility with two people.

What's going on with BRAD and ANGELINA?
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Good question! According to NUMBERS, Brad Pitt was born in 1963, which is the same year that the ZIP code was introduced, which, as we all know, is composed of NUMBERS! So, IĀ foretell that they will have a very good year indeed (but, no, they will not get married.)

CHRIS BROWN and RIHANNA?
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Thanks for asking! According to NUMBERS, Rihanna was born in 1988. "88", as you can see, looks like two sets of boobs. Rihanna already has one large tattoo under her breasts so by common knowledge, we know that in the coming year she will acquire another one. Chris Brown, meanwhile, will still be an asshole.

Rob Patt and K-STEW?
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I'm sorry, but NUMBERS only work when you are submitting questions using real names! But I will take a wild guess: 4?

Miley and Liam?
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Miley is 20! According to NUMBERS, that is a great time to enjoy your first (NUMBERS!) marriage.

Is this a good time to be in a relationship or move forward?
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Yes! 100%

What's the lowdown on celebrities loves and relationships such as Dr. Angelina?
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Dr. Angelina...?


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Hello?

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Is there anything else?

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NUMBERS
!!!