August 1, 2003

Rabbit, rabbit.

There is a major literary event in Chicago that I was originally s'posed to be at, but unfortunately, I can't attend. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go, though.

Today's Zulkey.com is rated Z-MA, for the mention of the term "giant dildo" and bad words facetiously directed towards Dave Eggers. Also, stay tuned for Monday when I unveil a brand new, 'extreme' writing project that involves pornography, literature, humor and no swearing.

So here's the tragic yet inspiring story of today's interview. I was thrilled to get in touch with some of the brain's behind my all-time favorite sketch show, "The State" (along with "Wet Hot American Summer," one of the funniest movies to come along in the last few years). They graciously responded to my stupid questions. And then guess what I did? I lost some of the answers! Fortunately, they were incredibly gracious and didn't totally ignore me and even re-responded. So they're not only funny, but they're also very cool.

Anyway, in addition to the aforementioned projects, you can also catch their work online and on tour with Stella Comedy, on NBC's show "Ed," and, yes, it's true--the Pets.com commercials.

So enjoy, and thank your lucky Stellas that they were kind enough to indulge me, so I didn't have to interview some long-lost third cousin or something.

The David Wain and Michael Ian Black Interview: Slightly Less Than Twenty Questions, I Think

The three of you have worked in TV drama, sketch comedy, film and more. How did the format of Stella, which is a variety show complete with stand up, sketch, music films come to be developed?
David Wain: The three of us were doing "alt" standup in NY during "The State's" TV series - later, we decided, "Let's do our own show!"

Why the name “Stella”?
DW: We liked the name because it rhymes with "comedy"

Michael Ian Black: "Stella" means "star" in Latin. Oddly enough, it also means "Retard" in Swahili. In addition, in Cherokee, it means, "He who runs with dickfish." So we felt like, because of the multi-layered meanings inherent, it would be the perfect name for our trio.

How do you guys come up with ideas for the films and sketches for “Stella”? Do you have meetings or is more of an off the cuff “Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if we went hunting and…”?
DW: Each script is the result of six months of meetings and planning. The script is first written by one of us, then the other two rewrite it, then it's sent to focus groups all over the world for feedback and tweaking. Generally it's about four years before the script is finally approved. Then during pre-production more ideas emerge, for example a production designer might change the shade of a dildo.

MIB: We have an international team of writers who are on call twenty-four hours a day. Whenever we need material, we fly them in from all corners of the globe on our fleet of Stella Gulfstream Vs. At that point, it's brainstorming and massages for hours on end, followed by make your own omelets, an ice cream bar, and aperitif. Then, it's back to the writing. This process can continue for weeks at a time until we have the absolute perfect fart joke. Then, we spend about twelve dollars shooting the skit.

Can you tell us about upcoming films “They Came Together” and “Captain Ricky” and when we can expect to see them?
DW: "They Came Together", which I'm directing, is hopefully going into production this year, with a script written by Michael Showalter and myself.. "Cap'n Ricky" is most likely not happening any time soon.

What is your most commonly received “The State” question? How do you field it?
DW: How do I get tapes/DVDs of The State? Answer - we're working on one with MTV right now. (Editor's note: in the meantime, you can still purchase the tape.

MIB: For me, my most commonly received question of late is, "Weren't you in 'Kids in the Hall'"? This is not a joke. For some reason, I am recognized far more for being in a comedy troupe I was never in than for anything else I've ever done.

You guys had a kickass soundtrack on “Wet Hot American Summer.” Are you 80’s music aficionados?
DW: No - I'm 20, so the eighties were over by the time I was 7 years old.

If you’re a television personality and you opt to do a commercial, are you selling out or just paying the proverbial bills?
DW: Which bills are proverbial?

MIB: It depends what the commercial is. If you're like me, you'll do anything for money, so it doesn't really matter, but I understand there are some people who have "integrity," or "care about what they do." Frankly, I don't understand that attitude, and I find that it reeks of elitism. To me, if they offer the Summer's Eve spot, I say, "Where do I sign?"

Do you watch “American Idol”? Were you rooting for Clay or Ruben?
DW: No I didn't watch it and know nothing about it. Ruben.

What do you disagree over most when you’re writing or filming?
DW: Who gets the most time in the makeup chair.

How exactly does VH1 choose someone as a commentator for “I Love the Eighties”? And what exactly does it entail: “Rubik’s Cube: go!”?
DW: Look for David Wain in "I love the 70s" in August!

MIB: This is how they choose people to be on VH1: somebody there goes, "What about that dude from 'Kids in the Hall?'" Then my phone rings and I say, "Sure." In terms of what it's like, you sit in a little room, and they say "Corey Feldman." And you're supposed to come up with something hilarious/winning/insightful/frightening/endearing to say about Corey Feldman. Three hours later you go home with no more money than when you arrived.

Was “Wet Hot” your first major directing project? What advice do you have for young directors, especially those who, say, might have to direct outside in the rain?
DW: Use the rain as an excuse to huddle closely with the costume woman, and wear a raincoat.

You said in an interview on Sonic.net that you were ‘fed up’ with the State’s network, MTV. Can you give us the dirt?
DW: Well basically the story is this, I was talking to MTV, and they're like, "What's up with what you're wearing?" and I'm like "get off my case - I'm not the one who told Ashley about your zits" and they like freaked out and now we're not talking.

According to Julie Whitesell of the Yale Herald, you guys are ‘hot shit.’ Is this accurate?
DW: My shit is very hot. I've handled it numerous times.

Michael, according to the Page Six gossip columns, author Dave Eggers will simply refer to himself as "Dave" in the byline of his next book. How does it feel to have three times the name as him?
MIB: It only makes sense that I would have three times the name as Dave, since I am three times the man. Seriously, however you measure it, I am three times the man as that shit heel Dave Eggers. I've got three times the pecs, three times the delts, and three times the glutes. I could kick Dave "I'm brilliant" Eggers' ass from here back to that crappy literary magazine from which he came. Dave, if you're reading this, put up your dukes, fucker, because I'm going to rain pain on your backside.

How have you guys changed as writers and performers since your college days and since “The State”?
DW: I've become more antiseptic.

MIB: For one thing, we're considerably older. Showalter has a gut. Personally, I'm a lot wealthier, although the same cannnot be said for the other guys. Also, creatively we've matured a lot. Once, where we do an easy joke like sticking our butts in a pile of pudding, now we take the high road - we beat each other with dildos. So, as you can see, there's been an evolution, a maturation.

Is there ever a time when a giant dildo isn’t funny?
DW: When it's found among the rubble of the World Trade Center.

The State" was on MTV, "Viva Variety," was on Comedy Central, the prime time "State" special on CBS, and Michael, you're on "Ed." What's the next network for you guy?
MIB: We're in very serious discussions with BET.

How does it feel to be the 69th and 70th people interviewed for Zulkey.com?
DW: Please make me #69. Because it's my birth year.

MIB: For me, it feels okay. I'd like it better if we were numbers 81, 103, and 216.