Tired of everything? Need something? Why not subscribe to my new service, "Some Crap Mailed To You In A Box!"

The concept is simple. Give me some money and your address. Then, once a month I will send you something! It's not something you really need but it's something you kind of want. Like a fancy snack designed to make you poop! Or a statement necklace that is eye-catching but heavy. Or maybe some fresh fruit. A tunic that is a nice pattern but way too long. A kids' craft project that takes five hours to do. A new pair of socks. Some toiletries that will pile up. Or the ingredients to make a vegetarian tagine.

All things that are designed to elicit a feeling of excitement and anticipation, followed by a brief feeling of sort-of happiness when you try to get excited about the thing you got. Unsuccessful? Send it back if you don't want it. Whatever!

So sign up today. Because everybody likes getting crap in the mail.