Our friends Jeff and Elizabeth and their two kids came to visit us over the weekend. We were excited to see them but were also prepared for it to be a little stressful. Our kids are the same age so while we hoped it would be fine and fun, babies cry, four-year-old boys get touchy and whiny, shit happens.

We happened to luck out. While we definitely had a touch of babies crying and four year olds getting touchy and/or whiny it was overall a way less stressful thing than it could have been. Here were the things that I think helped it (aside from just plain old good luck):

Make no large plans. Happily, Jeff and Elizabeth used to live in Chicago so there was little urgency for them to do and see stuff. The coolest thing that happened was that we went out to lunch and afterwards walked past a local firehouse. We called "Hello?" inside and Captain Tim and Firefighter Dan gave the boys a full-on show, letting them sit in the firetrucks, work the hand-pump hose, and watch Firefighter Dan slide down the pole. Also good--getting a glass of wine at this place we go to that is a kid-friendly wine store (BTW I am aware of and thankful for how bougie my life is right now.) I'm glad that we didn't make any plans that involved lots of driving or parking issues or tickets or lines or anything like that.

Have fun easy places to let the kids do their thing. During downtime, the boys played in the back yard or basement and the one-year-olds rolled around in this baby jail we have set up in the living room so we could hang out without worrying they were going to climb down the stairs. (These are bad babies! Cute, though.) So it was nice that the kids could play semi-unsupervised while the adults could drink coffee and get their wits together. If you're staying someplace with another family, choosing to stay in a place adjacent a playground would be a similar move.

Separate meals. We let Paul and Christopher be cute dorks together at their own little table. The grownups drank wine and ate without yelling at anybody after everyone went to bed. And the babies even ate a few meals together because that's funny. 

Don't cook. Maybe for a longer visit I would have, but an absence of pot-washing and food prep definitely didn't hurt in terms of making the weekend go better. 

Know what makes your friends' kids tick. Elizabeth and I got married at the same time and had kids at the same time and we keep in close touch because we can sympathize/worry about stuff that is I think excruciatingly tedious to most people but we find comforting in an "Oh so it's not only me" way. Anyway since we talk about our kids so much I knew what to expect pretty much from their children and sort of knew what buttons to try to avoid pushing and vice versa. I think even if you don't talk to your friends THAT much just sort of checking in and being like "Oh my kid feels this way about dogs" or "My kid feels this way about loud noises" is good to know.

Two nights (with one full day) is perfect. We were supposed to get two full nights with our friends but my crew ended up having a family celebration to attend and Jeff and Elizabeth and their kids got in fairly late. I think this worked out well actually--us clearing out gave them time to put their kids to bed and pack without us hovering or distracting them. We got home in time to hang out with the grownups a bit before starting the next day early with the kids. We only spent one full day together but in that day the boys played, Elizabeth and I exercised, we had a playdate with a third family, Paul and Steve went to hockey class, we all walked to lunch, we saw the fire station, there was naptime, we walked to the wine shop, after which there was more playtime, kid dinner, bedtime, grownup dinner, and grownup bedtime. With little kids, one day can be plenty.

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