A lot of horrible things are happening in the world but I'm here to keep track of the absolute least significant ones lest they fall off the map. One of these things is budging.

You remember budging. It's when somebody cuts in front of you in line without really asking or having a good excuse. I seem to attract budgers. I remember once at work a few years ago I was washing my dishes when a woman said "Excuse me," and held her cup on top of my dishes so as to collect the water stream so she could wash her cup before I was done doing my dishes. It was kind of amazing.

Then, last year I was at the Y after Paul's parent-kid swimming lesson, waiting for a family changing room to open up. I believe I was pregnant at that point. I stood there, holding Paul, both of us dripping wet, when a father with his son started standing in front of a door that started to open. "I've actually been waiting here," I said. "We're really late for our class," the father said and they forged ahead. (This, at least, was followed by a VERY gratifying moment where a father, who had noticed what had happened, said loudly to his daughter, "Do you see what that lady just did there? She let those other people go ahead of her even though it was her turn. Do you think you would ever be as nice as that?" THANK YOU, SIR.)

Finally, yesterday I was doing some Christmas shopping and was at a counter at Nordstrom. Like a human being I waited my turn as the checkout lady rang somebody up. I was purchasing a couple of things when a woman ran up and said "Do you have this lipstick?" The checkout lady said "I think so, but I'll help you when I'm done helping this woman." "Oh, I was just..." the woman said, which is code for "Oh, I was just hoping to go first, now, because I don't want to wait. See? I'm here. Did you not realize that? I know you like waiting but I do not." I smiled a bitchy smile and said "Go ahead!" in a tone that said "You're being a jerk!" The lady then threw down what she seemed to think was a really good excuse: "Thanks. It's just that have my dog waiting in the car." Okay, woman. Don't drag your dog into this. It's not like you left the dog in the car to go run into the grocery store to get some more baby formula or heart medicine. You're at the Old Orchard Clinique counter trying to get a new Chubby Stick. The two minutes you'd spend waiting your turn clearly aren't life and death for you dog. I'd rather she had just said "I'm just rude, okay?" I wish I had said, "Yeah, well I have my kid waiting in the car."

Hey! Related to women, but women I like, I will be reading at Witty Women Writers tonight at my beloved Book Cellar! Won't you come? Also here is a piece I wrote for Mom.me called How I Learned to Love Baby Talk.