I know I don't really know anything--yet-- but the stuff I have learned already during this fulltime freelance stuff makes me grateful that I have taken this leap. I've already learned so much in a short period of time. Here is what I've learned since last week:

1.) If I think I am worth more, I probably am.

I did some freelance work for a client I am happy to have but the hourly rate was not what I'd hoped it would be. I very diligently kept track of my time and padded myself a generous fifteen minutes at the end of it just to round up to a full half-hour. The total was really disappointing. It felt like more work than that. After talking to other people who do this for a living, I think my gut was right. I could have been paid more. I should have been paid more. I don't know how I'll account for it but I'm just not going to do that again. If I think I deserve more, I do. I'd rather be talked down than feel like I represented too little.

2.) There is not time to do stuff around the house.

I admit it, even though I had heard from friends who do work from home about their crappy dumb spouses expecting them to clean up around the house during their workdays, I was a crappy dumb spouse who kinda expected Steve* to do some cleaning when he was working at home (not doing shoots.) I'd be like Oh really? when I got home from the office and didn't see the dishwasher emptied. But I get it now. Sometimes there just really isn't time. I'd like there to be time. Maybe someday I will be able to earn the time but I don't feel like I have it yet. Which brings me to:

3.) It's really hard to shut off.

There, for me anyway, was a little bit of complacency built into my dayjob, I realize now. There is a risk and urgency in fulltime freelance that I didn't feel at my dayjob, even though I cared about it and put in good work. When it was time to leave my day job and I didn't get to things I'd think to myself "Eh that's kind of annoying. I'll do it tomorrow. Probably." And then I'd drive home for an hour, which sucked but was also time for me to listen to the news or a podcast or something. Wherea's now it gets to 4 or 5 PM and I start freaking out.  It's hard to stop the freakout cold and also switch to family/mom mode. Picking up my son from preschool is sweet but then I'm immediately cooking dinner in a hurry knowing that it's very unlikely that everyone will like/eat it. Anyway I posted about this on Facebook and I got a lot of really good advice from people about how to turn off the work brain: many said "drinking" which, even though humorous, I get; I feel like it is at least the start to finding the "off" button but I hope to build in other mechanisms besides alcohol. Other people suggested working out, which I will try (I'm used to doing it in the morning), or taking a shower. I thought about doing cleaning at the end of the day but that doesn't seem like that would yield a very happy evening. I probably need to just adjust to the fact that the house will be tidier on the weekends (when I have more free time) than on weekdays.

Anyways, I feel like this is information that is good to have no matter what, even/especially if I go back to the full-time workplace. Although as much as I am happy to keep learning, it's intense and I don't mind looking forward to when things feel more steady.

*It is a real gift to go through this with the person I'm married to/live with. Steve makes me feel like my feelings are normal and it's inspiring to live with someone who proves that you can do this and be successful.