I am writing this so I can have a handy link to send on when I get certain requests:

1.) If you are a friend, family member, or colleague who is doing something cool, I am happy to mention your project for free.

2.) If you are a company that will pay me money to promote your product, I am happy to do so as long as it fits in with the Zulkey.com voice/my personal tastes and interests and/or I can write something funny or weird about your product. This does not typically include online casinos.

3.) I will never review a book on this site based on a press release I've received. A.) I very, very rarely review books on this site. B.) I have never reviewed a book based on a press release I've received. C.) I barely have time to read anything. I basically have to schedule vacations as reasons to read. I do not get the sense that books I get a press release for asking me to write a positive review on my site are often the ones I can make time for.

4.) If you are a company that is asking me to promote your product in exchange for ReTweets or links, odds are I will not help you out. Yes, I do require "monetary compensation" to write for companies--you could even say I believe I ought to be paid for my work, work that is, in essence, copywriting for you. You are asking me to do work for free to help your company make money, which, not only is time-intensive and a little soulless, implies that my time is worth nothing and I also have no discernment and will happily write about any company whose representative reaches out to me. On the one hand, sure, this site can always use more exposure, but I'd like that to come from my actual original content, not stuff that I wrote to give you business. I'm 35 years old and I have a mortgage and a child and car and insurance payments to make. I understand you may get bloggers to provide promotional content for you in exchange for some traffic but I'm not one of these people. Also, even if you are giving some money to charity, I don't think you are giving all your money to charity. Here's a thought: you could give some of the money to charity that you wouldn't be giving contributors.

I know #4 especially sounds cranky but I've been receiving more and more emails making these types of requests to me and depending on my mood and hormone level my replies have ranged from a simple delete to a polite "no thanks" to something snarkier and less professional. But for now I'll just share this link.