...is not him. It's me.
Obviously, yes, it would be nice if I had a little agreeable garbage disposal who agreeably ate everything I gave him, especially if it's "human food" that I made for everyone. Pork tenderloin and roasted carrots, steak and mashed potatoes, chicken tacos? Yes please, mama! On a secondary level, it would be nice if he just ate the toddler food I make for him. What child doesn't like tater tots, or frozen pizza, or cheese quesadillas, or macaroni and cheese? Mine. On a tertiary level, it would be great if he ate anything. The other night he ate only ketchup and milk for dinner (after I gave him tots, carrots, ketchup, and something else that he didn't eat, probably fruit.) This morning he turned down two things that he normally likes--waffles and apples (the latter of which, infuriatingly, he never eats sliced up in his high chair but only eats whole, either biting off somebody else's apple or carrying around his own, making sure he drops it on the ground plenty and picking up all the dust and dog hair on it)--and just had milk for breakfast.
SERENITY NOW (insanity later.)
I'm not seriously concerned. He apparently eats at daycare and somehow has the energy to run around the kitchen carrying a heavy watering can and enthusiastically open and slam all the drawers all evening so I think he's probably fine. What I really wish was that I could find a zen place where his eating habits didn't bother me and I knew exactly how much effort to put into feeding him. Because picky toddlers are one of the biggest clichés there are in the parenting world. Imagine a toddler and odds are you're probably imagining a brat with spaghetti on his head, or throwing food off the tray onto the floor, or closing his mouth up tigher than Fort Knox as his hapless dad tries the airplane-spoon routine. Toddlers have always been and will always be little shits when it comes to eating. I KNOW THIS. I am quite far beyond trying to get him to eat brussel sprouts or quinoa or fancy cheese or exotic curries whatever it is intolerable smug parents brag about their kids eating. I just want to know what is worth putting effort into and where I should just give up.
It's just very tiring and a little bit sad to kick off the day or end it with a struggle or fight, especially when it's a situation where you feel an obligation to nourish, educate, satisfy and delight a child all in one tiny meal. I know it's just a phase and in not much time at all he'll be eating more stuff, and then more, and it won't be quite as big a deal. But in the meantime, I'm not trying how to make him get with my program--I'm trying to figure out what his is, so that we can all be a little bit happier at mealtime (and I can stop throwing food down the drain.)
Any suggestions (more on finding the happy place than actually making foods that a kid will like) will be welcome.
juliloquy
My sister always talked about the toddler "snake" diet: They may only eat once every three days, but on those eating days, they unhinge their jaws and eat everything in sight. It helped me to focus not on daily consumption, but consumption over several days.
Best wishes!
KateC
If I have one regret about my son's childhood, it was our insistence on his trying and eating what we thought he should eat. My husband is a chef, his family are all involved in food, and we so wanted to have a gourmet baby. If he wanted hot dogs, we had to try to make them all foodie and cool and thus, ruined dinner for him, a 3 year old.
He's 26, lives in Budapest, eats everything. But it was a hard road. We would insist that he try foods that tasted gross to him (most cooked vegetables), that smelled funny (any soup or stew) and whose texture he didn't like (same.) One day he'd like something, the next day it would be anathema. He ate white rice, plain noodles, pizza (but not red sauce or melted cheese on anything else, which was annoying), plain ham and raw carrots. He is a super-taster (should have become a vintner) and had sensory issues with texture, which he sort of out-grew.
It's never worth the struggle, I think. I think we should have just let him eat what he wanted, and left it without comment, good or bad.
Noah
Your son may be a little young for this, but we have a solid bribery program in place for our picky eater. This only works if your toddler eventually likes cookies, candy, marshmallows, etc. If our son doesn't eat at least part of his dinner he doesn't get a treat at the end. This usually devolves into negotiating points as small as which fragment of a piece of turkey merits a treat.