I had a work conference yesterday where I intended to eat healthy. At breakfast I skipped the sweet rolls and sugary oatmeal for some saintly hardboiled eggs and fresh fruit and tea. So protein! Much produce!

Then at lunch, though, we were invited to pick up boxed lunches. I chose a chicken salad sandwich because I envisioned I would eat the chicken off the bun, skip the pasta salad and enjoy some more guilt-free fruit while I skipped the cookie. But in the time it took for me to pick up the boxed lunch and start eating it, I completely changed my mind. I ate the whole sandwich, which was served on foccaccia of course, which is basically glorified pizza, and the two servings of pasta salad (there was supposed to be fruit in one of the cups but I'm sure whomever made the lunch was like, "Well whoever eats this probably doesn't care about fruit") and the cookie. At least the cookie was white chocolate chip macadamia nut, which helped me avoid real chocolate, which I have given up for Lent aside from the chocolate torte I shared with my husband on Sunday.

And basically, if you had put anything else in front of me at that moment in time, I would have eaten it. I have a really hard time not accepting and eating free packaged food, especially if it's in an environment where I am not totally of my own free will, such as work or an airplane (I really don't care for Laughing Cow cheese but if it's given to me on an airplane I'll grab onto it like it's a liferaft in an ocean.)

I can turn down free unpackaged food. If I'm at the office and it's a situation where the food has been sitting out for awhile and a lot of people picking at it, where I can shame myself into thinking "Come on. You can do better than this stale thing that people have been breathing all over." Or at a conference, where there's free pizza, I talk myself out of it because I think pizza eating should be a private endeavor (in that the amount of pizza I want to eat versus the amount I feel I should eat in public are very different.)

I'm currently writing this post in between sessions, and I am patiently waiting for the snacks that will be put out between lunch and the end of the day, which involved various types of energy products in bar form, and I know I'm just going to grab a handful and shove them into my bag, because some energy bars that I do not want or need that are free are much more valuable than some other energy bars that I do not want or need but cost $1. Then I will go to the ladies' room and if it looks like they are not running low, I will take some more.

I am not otherwise a free-things hoarder. I don't take more than my share of restaurant mints, or take the little unused jelly jars from hotels (when are you ever going to use those?) My issue is that I am always thinking at least three meals ahead. Just this morning Steve was telling me that it's okay if I don't have a plan for dinner tonight already (is it, though?) I just can't stop envisioning a future where I am STARVING and there is NOTHING to eat--except!--for the Nature Valley granola bar I heroically saved for myself and dispersed between my gym bag, car and desk for just this situation.

So am I greedy and obsessive or am I maybe just incredibly prepared? You be the judge. Comments are closed on this post so I'll just assume you'd type "incredibly-prepared hero" below.