Earlier this summer I attended a special type of party: my friend Nora's parents were moving out of the house that they raised their six kids in, and so all six adult Geraghty kids returned home to Evanston to bid adieu to the house before their parents downsized to a condo.

 I've known Nora (who is #4 out of the six) since second grade and thus her mother too, through sleepovers, birthday parties and Girl Scout trips. I have always enjoyed her friendly but no-nonsense view on life: a famous story involved a friend, who had skinned her knee, coming to Mrs. Geraghty's front door, the house freshly carpeted. "Don't bleed on the rug!" was Mrs. Geraghty's main takeaway.

All six Geraghty kids are in touch and are friends and visit each other. All six Geraghty kids have good and meaningful jobs in healthcare, law, international relations and education. As many women my age and I are at the starting line of motherhood, I wanted to get the perspective of a woman who not only did it, but did it well, and did it six times.

How soon did you know that you wanted a large family?
I am good friends with my own brothers and sister. I remember having great fun with my dad and his three brothers and I thought maybe a family of four boys would be good.   When our second child was born, she was a very good baby - easy sleeper, good temperament, etc.  However, I did realize at that time that I could never be a prefect mother. When our third child was born, I was more relaxed than with either of the first two.  Was it confidence? Maybe. But it was also hard-earned wisdom about what is important (talking with the children and baby, celebrating their curiosity and happiness) and not so important (having them dressed in their best clothes for any outings...fitting in an exact number of fruit servings each day, etc.)

How did you know when you were done?
I knew I could not be mom to more children after our fourth daughter was born. We had six active, bright, busy youngsters to nurture and only twenty-four hours in each day.

My husband and I are a good team and it took both of us to balance the effort needed to parent six children.  Once, when the youngest was but a few weeks old, I remember holding her during a night feeding, and telling her I wished I had more time.

Do you think that you would have as large a family if you were just starting your family now?
We would have a different world to support us. Children's activities and schools are more specialized and expensive.  There are so many more items we have been taught to "need" and therefore would have to pay for. We might still choose to create and nurture as many children but it would be a lonely task. Knowing what good friends our children are as adults, I really hope we would go ahead and build a large family.

What were you most worried about with #1 that you were totally relaxed about with #6?
With our first child, I thought it was my job to entertain and stimulate the baby whenever he was awake. I learned that babies could enjoy quiet watchfulness. I am fairly sure our younger children played independently for more minutes that our first two did! With the first child I was eager for each milestone - smiling, sitting, walking, talking etc. That was still exciting with later children, but there was not anxiety about when such steps might happen.

On average, which age range was the most difficult to get the kids through?
One of the parenting books I read described periods in childhood of equilibrium and dis -equilibrium, meaning that times of smooth behavior and development might be followed by months of testing and negativity, which I think is true. Junior high years were difficult for me as a parent due to the many social issues for both boys and girls. It was also a time when I was eager for them to be really engaged with literature, math and science, but those years are really quite full with physical changes and emotional moments. I found it difficult to believe that it was ever okay to NOT offer personal best with schoolwork. It was very hard on me to see a child disappointed by a friend or hurt by schoolyard cruelty. I would say that junior high years are also the time when children achieve a level of independence that is healthy, but can be scary for parents. We want them to make choices and follow the consequences, but we also want them to be safe and happy. It is a transitional time and the direction followed by a twelve year old can influence choices she might have later.

Did you generally want the same thing for each of your kids as future adults or did you gradually change that point of view with each child?
What I hoped for each of the children is that they would achieve maturity with family loyalty, good health, a solid academic record, true friends, and the wide- open choices of adulthood.  I felt that there is no one right choice for any individual but that a good foundation makes many paths possible.

Were there any hard-and-fast policies about parenting that you and Mr. Geraghty maintained for all the kids? Which were some that shifted throughout the years?
We did always stress "Personal Best" meaning that we expected the children to give a strong effort in anything they tried, but I am fairly sure that our older children would say we loosened up on TV restrictions with the younger kids. One thing that was true for all the children is that they earned their college spending money. We provided tuition and room  and board, but they were responsible for any "running around" money.

What advice did you give your kids when it came to career choice? Love?
We encouraged the children to consider fulfilling work to contribute to building a better world. We certainly chatted with the kids about careers whenever the subject came up and helped them think through what education might be required, what connections might help, what options might be worth a try.

About love, believe me the kids always knew what their parents thought about what they found in the newspaper or on television shows or in the movies.  We were bold in stating out beliefs about what is and is not proper behavior, what makes a good moral choice, etc.  Because we shared dinner together we had at least one venue for daily conversation. 

How are your daughters who are moms most like and unlike you as a mother?
I like to think our daughters who are mothers believe that nurturing their children is the most important work they will ever do. They are accomplished professional women but their superior "product" is the next generation.  They are unlike me in that they are maintaining professional lives, at least part time, while raising their children.

Typically what's your reaction when you read trend pieces on parenting these days?
I really try to affirm parents and cheer them on, but it seems to me that there is more materialism involved in parenting now from expensive baby gear through "classes" for toddlers and on to traveling sports teams for primary school children. I'd remind today's parents to put down the smart phones, turn off the iPad, and talk with their children. It really is common to see adults holding on to a child's hand as if the youngster were a purse strap they had to hold while they chat on the phone!  Children deserve respect and if they get it, they will return it. Children do rise to expectations.

One reaction I have to reading about today's parents is that they do not always seem to understand that parenting is 24/7. Yes, we have to give up free time and friend time and me-first. More than forty years ago I remember being surprised that one newborn infant could swallow my whole day. It is still true. Parenting is time-intensive but, I believe, a great investment.

What are some of your favorite memories that involve all six kids?
I remember checking out of a very small hotel in 1990. Our eleven bags were on the floor in front of the desk. As we were preparing to gather the bags and depart another guest stopped in the cramped area and said "If I had known you were all going to be here I might not have stayed." That same man went on to say he had not noticed us for the four days of his stay....we must have been quiet.   As part of that same trip we received a letter from a guest house where we had made reservations. The letter, addressed to Mr Geraghty ended with the line "looking forward to meeting you and your six well-behaved children."  These two gems illustrate the fact that people have definite notions of how uncivilized a large family must be.

Also, one time when we were entering an amusement park I was asked if I was driving a day camp group.

How does it feel to be the 359th person interviewed for Zulkey.com?
I feel as though I am in good company.