Today is the day to ignore repeated requests for comment.

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Zulkey.com Tips for In and Out of Towners on Chicago March Street Style

DO NOT: Show that you're an uninformed idiot by walking around in your short skirts and formal (and informal) shorts when it's 40 degrees out. "But it was warm yesterday! But it was warm this morning!"  There are many ways to find out the day's forecast. Use one of them and stop looking sad and shivery as you walk down Michigan Ave.

DO NOT: Wear sandals. Even if it's 85 degrees. It's not summer yet.  Your feet are not ready to be seen.  We are not ready to see them.

DO NOT: Wear Crocs.  Ever.

DO NOT: Wear the same footwear as everyone else in your party. It looks strange, like you're in a cult.

DO NOT: Walk out of a store without checking the foot traffic situation. You might be thrilled with your new iPhone or American Girl Doll or five pound bag of Garrett's popcorn but we will mow you down if you're not careful.

DO NOT: Be a teenager in a large group of teenagers.

DO NOT: Walk down the sidewalk three, four, five abreast with your friends. It is rude.

DO NOT: Call me a bitch when I bump into you because I refuse to make way for your group or move over just because you feel like walking on the left side of the sidewalk.

DO NOT: Serpentine. Whether you are doing it for fun or to escape imaginary alligators, walk in a straight line or else you're going to bump into me as I pointedly try to pass you.

DO NOT: Glare at me like you want to hatefully rape and then kill me as you slowly cross the street in front of my car, miles away from any crosswalk, when I am driving.

DO: Not do any of the things I listed above.