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Today's Zulkey.com is especially dumb and lazy and may only be of interest to Chicagoans, and even then, that's a stretch.
Completely False Answers to the Old-Time Chicago Quiz That My Dad Sent Me*
(1) Name all five of Riverview's roller coasters.
Old Rickety, Scooby Doo Train, the Bends, the Bobbsey Twins, and the Pooper.
(2) What was the former name of Martin Luther King Drive?
State Street.
(3) How many times was Richard J. Daley (the "Old Man") elected mayor?
Just once .
(4) Identify any two candidates who lost to the original Daley.
Abraham Lincoln and Jesse Jackson, Jr.
(5) What is an alewife?
Who an alehusband has to come home to after a night with his alemistress.
(6) What did Jack Brickhouse yell when the Cubs hit a home run?
Holy crap!
(7) Name, in order, the three papers Mike Royko wrote for.
The New York Post, the New York Daily News, and The Onion.
(8) What gasoline chain had Dino the Dinosaur as a mascot?
Fossil's Fuels.
(9) Which of Bill Veeck's legs was the peg-leg?
Both of them.
(10) Identify Resurrection Mary.
The woman on the wall under the Expressway Viaduct.
(11) Why was 1340 North State Parkway a famous address?
Because that's where the Great Fire started.
(12) Who was Uncle Johnny Coons?
Somebody very racist.
(13) What car dealer was the "Home of the Backward K?"
Somebody very racist and very silly.
(14) Name the announcer of TV bowling at Faetz-Niesen.
Harry Caray.
(15) What was a Green Hornet?
A messed-up bee.
(16) Where were the Stock Yards located?
Near the Chicago Stock Exchange.
(17) What type of store was Morris B. Sachs?
Cat food.
(18) When he wasn't doing Riverview commercials, what was Two-Ton Baker's profession?
Telling children cautionary tales of overeating.
(19) What Catholic archbishop has a suburb named after him?
Joliet Jake
(20) What business had the phone number MOhawk 4-4100?
Empire Carpets.
(21) Identify one or more Chicago streets that was part of U.S. Route 66.
Lunt
(22) Name the sponsor of TV wrestling who was killed by an unhappy customer.
John Dillinger
(23) What was the last home stadium of the Chicago Cardinals?
Busch Stadium
(24) Name one locally-brewed Chicago beer.(Recent brew-pubs do not count!)
Corona
(25) Before Circle, where was the Chicago campus of the University of Illinois?
Little Champaign
(26) Where did the Beatles perform on their first trip to Chicago?
Carnegie Hall.
(27) Which now-defunct grocery chains gave S & H Green Stamps?
Whole Foods.
(28) Name the boxing champ who gave his name to a local milk company.
Howard Dean
(29) Where was the Army Induction Center located?
In sunny Wilmette
(30) How many inches of snow fell in the January 1967 blizzard?
59,000.
(31) Who wore an Uncle Sam suit, and was always a losing candidate for public office?
Ronny Woo-Woo
(32) What public building was often called simply "Eleventh and State?"
The Eleventh and State Municipal Courthouse
(33) Where did Andy the Clown hang out?
At the Circus Circus Halfway House.
(34) Name the TV show that was the source of the local catch-phrase: "Right Here, Harv."
"Car 54, Where Are You?"
(35) Who were the Lincoln Park Pirates?
The enemies of the Lincoln Park Trixies, long ago killed off.
(36) What was the old name of the Brown Line 'L?
Fudgie.
(37) Where was Skip's located?
Across from Lou's.
(38) What do the call letters of Channel 11 WTTW--stand for?
What The..? That's Wrong!
(39) Where was Skid Row?
In "Little Shop of Horrors."
(40) Name two Illinois governors who served time in prison.
Richard Speck and John Wayne Gacy Jr.
*If you played along with this quiz and want the real answers, email me.