Today is the day to stop videotaping all your illegal activities.

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We're almost a week away from the Super Bowl, and I'd like to address what's been considered by many to be the various insensitivities in Chicago professional sports. First came the controversy over the University of Illinois Fighting Illini's team name. Now, the Sioux tribe is demanding the return of the mascot uniform. Then last week, the Chicago Bears became the bad guys of the country for defeating the New Orleans Saints. And things like this did not help.

I don't think that Illinois should get all the blame, however, when it comes to athletic culture insensitivity. I think the pinnacle of offensiveness comes from the state of Florida. First, the Florida State Seminoles. I tried to find some news on any controversy about their mascot, but I could find none. I can only assume that there is some sort of trickery going on where the state has convinced the tribe that drunken 20 year olds are actually a proud, empowering tradition.

Then, another college team has the extremely tasteless name of the Hurricanes. Oh that's really nice. Why don't you name your team the Tsunamis, or the Holocausts? I can't believe that the school callously kept the name of their team after Katrina. I can only assume that George Bush, who does not care about black people, whispered to his brother Jeb, governor of the state, not to change the name of the team to something more appropriate and uplifting, like the University of Miami Fema Trailers or something.

Then, the Miami Dolphins. Dolphins are not to be made fun of. Dolphins are precious and endangered, I think.

Finally, the capper: the Devil Rays. I think it's in extremely poor taste to have a team named after the very beast that killed off our beloved national treasure Steve Irwin. Wait a minute...is this supposed to be some kind of sick joke?

Miami Heat: you better get ready to run if global warming ravages the nation this summer.

Orlando Magic and Florida Panthers: You're okay.

Everyone else: you're a jerk.