Today is the day to start canceling plans.

Super Fan Predictions

The Chicago Bears vs. Miami Dolphins:
Bears: 184
Dolphins: 3

2006 Chicago Bears vs. 1985 Chicago Bears:
2006 Bears: 298
1985 Bears: 209

Chicago Bears vs. North Korea (with nuclear weapon):
Bears: 309
North Korea: 21

Chicago Bears vs. Any Senatorial Candidate
Bears (without the benefit of negative campaign ads): 97 plus a seat in the House of Representatives
Candidate: 10

Chicago Bears, if They Were Chemotherapy, vs. Cancer:
Bears: 390
Cancer: 0

Arizona Cardinals vs. A Thousand Swirling Mini Brian Urlachers:
Mini Urlacher Tornado: 7
Cardinals: -28