Today is the day to weather the controversy.

Hey Chicagoans: Don't forget that I will be reading an on-demand story tomorrow at the Dollar Store, and thus very likely to embarrass myself.

Query: Who is Doing Travis Barker?

For those of you who don't know, this is Travis Barker:

 

You may recognize him from those Boost Mobile commercials where in an alternate universe he turned into a bodybuilder. He is initially famous for playing the drums for a band called Blink-182, a band I have never listened to on purpose.

To me, though, he is more noteworthy for his significant others. He was once married to Shanna Moakler, former Miss USA and "Dancing with the Stars" contestant. This is Ms. Moakler:

Now, Travis Barker is dating Paris Hilton. We all know what she looks like so let me not litter the Internet with another photo of her. Hilton and Moakler are allegedly physically fighting over this man.

My honest-to-god question is, why? I feel like I get the appeal of various nontraditionally attractive men. Tell me you have a crush on Roger Clemens, Jerry Orbach, Dennis Rodman, Kid Rock, Kevin Federline, I might not agree with you but I understand.

I don't get the Travis Barker thing. What is it? The Jesus-Christ-on-the-Cross skinniness? The astro-boy hair? The lip ring? The long-sleeved-shirt tattoos? What is it that's doing it for these women?

Or does he just have a really, really, really, really, really really awesome personality?

If you have insights into this please let me know.