Today is the day to tell the world.

Funny Ha-Ha is coming to the MCA in 15 days

Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com, aka my mom, is ready to answer your questions. Got one? Send it in. I know you don't know what to get your Dad for Christmas but she might know.

As you all know, I am, whether I like it or not, an American Girl. However, this is a sketchy time to be one, as doing so might mean you are pro 'alternative lifestyle.' "The maker of a popular series of children’s dolls 'condones lesbianism' by backing a non-profit group’s campaign to bolster girls’ self-esteem, according to two conservative groups calling for a boycott of the American Girl Company," according to the Southern Voice Online.

Fortunately, for those people who do believe that the American Girls 'condone lesbian' (thereby probably making your daughter a lesbian in the long run), there is an alternate doll, one that provides a strong Christian role model. Meet the A Life of Faith Girls, who are absolutely not a ripoff of the American Girls dolls.

First, meet Violet Travilla, "an artistic, intelligent, forward-thinking young Victorian teenager living in the late 1870s. Although Vi is somewhat confused and anxious about her future, in her heart she knows that whatever comes her way, God will guide, protect, and comfort her, for Vi trusts in the Lord and in His Holy Word." Vi, by the way, is not to be confused with Samantha.

Then there is Laylie, "a bold and imaginative young girl living in South Carolina in the mid-1830s. Laylie was born into slavery, and because of this, she faces hardships and restrictions that even other girls in her era, who were not born into slavery, do not have to face. As a result, Laylie is bold and courageous. She is a heroine that all of us can admire." She bears no resemblance to Addy.

Then, "Millie Keith is a bright and energetic young girl living on the Indiana frontier in the mid-1800s. She is also cousin to Elsie Dinsmore!" She is not, however, related to Kirsten.

Meanwhile, "Elsie Dinsmore was one of the most beloved fictional heroines of all time. Why? Because she lived A LIFE OF FAITH!" However she was born before any of these other girls mentioned on the page and it can be proven.

You know, I actually had a whole other set of jokes to make about this site but I think I'll just save them for later this week.