Dear Mrs. Zulkey.com on kitties

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Today is the day to pander.

Funny Ha-Ha is coming...

Dear Mrs. Zulkey,

Recently I adopted two kittens. I live in an apartment building where you sign a lease that says that you realize that animals are not allowed and if animals are found in the apartment the tenant will lose the security deposit. But here's the thing: I went to a building party organized by some other tenants and someone told me that half of the people in the building have cats and one has a dog, and that they all signed the same lease. I have heard the dog and seen one cat in a window. My father rents an office from the same landlords and I think he would be angry with me for having cats. And I want to have a Christmas party. I would love to invite my father to
the Christmas party but at this point it seems like a better option to gracefully disinclude him. I don't think his feelings will be hurt - I could actually have two Christmas parties and have the second one at his house. Am I a bad person for letting some friends and some familiy members know about the cats while hiding them from others?Should I do something or just let it be? Right now I have this plan in mind of telling my father when the cats are three years old. Then it could kind of be funny, right?

Thanks for your advice,
Cats In Hiding

My Dear Ailurophile,

I'm not a lawyer, but based on what you say it seems as if your landlord is willing to look the other way regarding pets - for a price. You're not faced with eviction, just the loss of your security deposit. So the cost of your new little roommates includes not just cat food and kitty litter, but one or two months rent as well. I assume you think this is worth it.

Now with regard to your Dad, let's be grown up about it. Tell him and relieve yourself of the sneaking around. If you need to soften the blow, you could send him a note enclosing photos of the cutest, most irresistible kittens ever. Tell him that you were lonely and these two companions are preferable to taking in a parolee from the shelter, not the animal shelter, the homeless shelter.

Mrs. Zulkey

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