Today is the day to put on a heating pad.

Hey! I'll be reading with McSweeneys in a few weeks!

Variations on Scientology's "Silent Birth"

Nice Birth

Delightful Birth

Pleasant Birth

Magnificent Birth

Exceptional Birth

Cool Birth

Great Birth

Exquisite Birth

Funny Birth

Decent Birth

Agreeable Birth

Gorgeous Birth

Pretty Birth

Fantastic Birth

Stunning Birth

Brilliant Birth

Hot Birth

Neat Birth

Special Birth

Smart Birth

Gifted Birth

Glorious Birth

Charming Birth

Good Birth

Talented Birth

Extraordinary Birth

Beautiful Birth

Sweet Birth

'Something Else' Birth