Today is the day to work ahead of time.

Frowned-Upon Variations of the Away Message

"I am out of the office through September 13th. You, apparently, are not. Ha ha."

"I'm off eating tacos. Tacos!!! Sinc., Claire Zulkey."

"See ya, wouldn't want to be ya. Through September 13th. Please direct all inquiries to my co-worker, you sucker."

"If I were here, I would tell you myself that I don't care very much what you are writing about. However, I am on vacation, leaving my office to rot in its stead. I will return your email, maybe, when I return."

"I am out of the office through September 13th. I will miss you and love you."

"I will be doing body shots until my reluctant return on September 13th. You will be able to see footage of my trip on my Flickr account when I return. They might be a little 'blue.' Thank you very much."