Today is the day to wish Tracy Lyons a happy birthday. happy birthday
Book By Its Cover Review: Streaking
I wish there was more streaking. I know that nudity transcends all races and nationalities but for some reason streaking strikes me as a uniquely American activity (but obviously it's not, or else we wouldn't see all those great photos of elegant, athletic streakers at soccer games being chased by dumbfounded security men in ornate uniforms.)
On the one hand, yes, it's annoying when our sporting activities (or award ceremonies or graduations or what have you) are interrupted and then go on too long, so I don't believe in a constant-streaking policy. But I have never seen a streaker in real life: only in photos from other events, so I don't think there is exactly a streaking epidemic. Thus, since I have never streaked nor seen a streaker, I am fit to judge this as a Book By Its Cover Review.
Despite the artistic ideals of the nude human body, or the positive enforcement that human bodies, fat or thin, are beautiful in their own way, deep down, I believe that nudity is funny. It's funny! You can't admit that the weird folks at the Y who walk around naked in the locker room with more comfort than you have in your own shower at home aren't the tiniest bit hilarious. And let's be honest. How often do you stand around looking lovely like Venus de Milo or Michelangelo's David? Never. Usually, when you're nude, you're looking kinda funny, so why not write "Soy Bomb" on your chest and run across a stage?
The idea of streaking itself is funny, too. Even if you still declare that the naked human body is a work of art, then why is there streaking? Why is it such a distraction and why does it cause such hysteria and hilarity? We all know it's crazy, so we should embrace it more. Plus, there is something wonderfully basic about getting totally naked and just running. Naked accounting or airport controlling doesn't have quite the same sense of freedom and silliness.
Why don't I streak? For one, I'm eight months pregnant. Okay, that's not true. But usually, whenever I'm at a sporting event, my seats aren't close enough to the field to make taking off my clothes and running onto the field easy. Also, I'm not in great shape so I would be caught instantly. And finally, I'm lazy. Planning that whole thing out seems like something of a pain to me. However, I know I am not averse to seeing it happen, so go to it! Especially those of you who root for terrible sporting teams. Give the fans something to look at--take it off and shake it. Because I enjoy laughing at your body.