May 25 2005

Today is the day to make a defensive play.

In case you haven't noticed by the cold, dead look in his eyes, Tom Cruise is completely insane. What do you think it is? The supposed homosexuality? The shortness? The Scientology?

I think, in essence, it's the result of being too famous for too long. A friend and I have long discussed something that I will refer to as Celebrity Insanity Syndrome.

I think that you have to be somewhat insane to be a famous person in general. Most of us get embarrassed when we are simply looked at for too long, let alone photographed, interviewed, dissected, etc. But these folks do it voluntarily. We all think that we'd like to be famous, but really, really, would you? You probably still say yes but I bet you don't.

However, while many celebrities exhibit egotistical (Madonna), grating (Eminem) or generally ill-advised (Tara Reid) behavior, there are a select few that have been in the spotlight for so long that they lose the sense of what the common folk believe to be normal versus abnormal. These celebrities are so used to being adored that they simply think anything they do must seem normal, because they've been told for so long that everything else they do is good.

It's hard to break it down but basically, any time you cannot write off behavior with any adjective other than nuts, you've got celebrity insanity behavior. To wit:

Whitney Houston: The entire Diane Sawyer interview.

Britney Spears: Believing that there is something worthwhile in her inane, disgusting honeymoon video with her white trash husband that merits sharing it with the rest of the country.

Tom Cruise: Attacking Oprah Winfrey and Katie Holmes in one television appearance, claiming that he can cure depression with vitamins.

Michael Jackson: Believing that nobody will think there is honestly anything wrong with sharing a bed with small boys.

Marlon Brando: Basically, anything.

Again, there are many semi-crazy things that celebrities will say. For instance, any movie actor who truly believes they can help assuage the situation in the Middle East by flying over there and talking to people are perhaps deluded, but it's not insane.

Should we pity these insane celebrities? Some might say yes. I say no and wait for further meltdowns. If you have other examples of insane celebrity behavior though, please, feel free to share.