Today is the day to nervously chitchat.

Book By Its Cover Review: The Super Bowl Halftime Show

Next weekend is the Super Bowl, the Christmas of American sports. There is a little phenomenon that occurs between the first half and the second half of the game known as 'half time,' and typically during this break there is some sort of celebration or performance. You might remember last year, when Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake performed and something happened and then all these kids had their eyes melt and then went out stabbing people because their lives had been ruined.

So, this year, nobody is taking any chances. No other than "Sir" Paul McCartney will be performing, and I predict that the performance will singlehandedly destroy any vestiges of his former coolness will evaporate.

The Bowl organizers obviously wanted something as far away as Janet Jackson's boob as they could get while still getting people to tune in. If I were Paul McCartney, I'd be a little bit insulted. Rock and roll is about flashing boobs and scandal and shock. He should know, because the Beatles did shock people way back when, especially when they were bigger than Jesus. But now, basically, he's getting the message that he's an old man who can provide some good clean fun for everyone. The thing everyone should realize is that de facto, the Super Bowl halftime show is not cool. Nobody thinks anybody is particularly rockin' while they're strutting around up on stage while everyone else is getting more beer and going to the bathroom.

Paul McCartney has never had oodles of street cred but this is just a little bit extra dorky. I predict lots of good clean fun as promised, perhaps some embarrassing fist-pumping, maybe some awkward-looking dancers and perhaps the forgetting of a lyric or two. And that the Eagles will win.