Today is the day to delete old emails.
And today, a new columnist! And you don't even have to write in!
Sound Off With Steve D.
If you're the type of person who is angry, I'm the fella for
you. Hi, I'm Steve D., and I'm an angry guy. But I'm able to control my anger,
and make people stop, think, and yes, occasionally laugh in the process, all
because I know how to properly "sound off" on all of the things
that bug me. Yep, I love sounding off. I'll sound off on most anything.
And that's why Claire Zulkey, the young lady who runs this website (and rather
poorly, I might add), gave me this column. One day I sent her an e-mail and
sounded off to her like nobody's business. "Listen," I said, "I'm
Steve D., and I love sounding off. Your website: it stinks. No one ever sounds
off on what bugs them. You need someone, like myself, Steve D., to make an
appearance every once in awhile, and sound off on those things that bug people."
Well, three and a half weeks later, when she finally got back to me (ooooh,
that bugs me! TIME TO SOUND OFF!), she agreed to give me this occasional column,
because, in her words, "You seem like you know a lot about sounding off
and there's some stuff that bugs me." Well, Claire, you're right: I do
like sounding off, and stuff does bug me, so looks like you've come to the
right guy (a guy who sounds off about the things that bug him!).
What will this column be like? Well, I'll probably introduce something that
bugs me, and then sound off about it. That seems like a comfortable way to
progress. Maybe we'll do year-end reviews about the most-sounded-off things,
have tutorials about how to sound off in certain environments, and maybe some
interactive charts and graphs that explain the history of sounding off. And
hey, just because we're sounding off here doesn't mean we always have to be
so serious -- so maybe we'll do a funny parody one day, like "Top Ten
Sound Offs." The future is wide open. And who knows, maybe one day I'll
sound off on something that bugs you. But don't e-mail me your stupid suggestions,
because this is my column, and I don't want you sending me your filthy degenerate
filth. That would make me have to sound off on you, and no one actively seeks
out a personalized sounding off (unless they're dumb or hard of hearing).
So good day to you.
- Steve D.
(I made the logo myself)
