Today is the day to nickname the appliances.
Transcript of a Kleptomaniacs Anonymous Meeting
Mediator: Well, how did everyone do today?
Anonymous 1: Not too good.
Anonymous 2: Me either.
Anonymous 3: I did all right.
Mediator: Who wants to start?
Anonymous 3: I went to Wal-Mart and I really wanted to shoplift a book, but I didn't.
Mediator: And how did that make you feel?
Anonymous 3: Good. Stronger.
Mediator: Excellent.
Anonymous 1: I wish I had your strenth.
Mediator: And why is that?
Anonymous 1: Because I went to Wal-Mart too, but I ended up boombox.
Anonymous 3: Well, that's not too bad.
Mediator: And why is that?
Anonymous 3: Because I went to Wal-Mart too, but ended up shoplifting a lawnmower.
Anonymous 2: What kind?
Anonymous 3: The new Toro.
Anonymous 2: Nice. But, I'm afraid I was still worse than you: I went to Wal-Mart and shoplifted an entire dinette set.
Anonymous 1: Oooh.
Mediator: What did you just say?
Anonymous 1: I mean, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm here for you.
Anonymous 2: Wait, which Wal-Mart were you shoplifting at?
Anonymous 3: The one off the I-90. I was there on Saturday.
Anonymous 2: Oh my god! I was totally there at the same time when I was shoplifting the dinette set.
Anonymous 3: That's so funny!
Mediator: Oops, it looks like we have a late arrival. Hello, there.
Anonymous 4: Hello.
Anonymous 2: Hey, nice watch.
Anonymous 4: Thanks. Shoplifted, of course.
Mediator: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. How were you otherwise, this week?
Anonymous 4: Not good, I'm afraid. I shoplifted a horse, a tractor, and a pool table.
Anonymous 1: Braggart.
Anonymous 4: Hey, I can shoplift you and nobody would ever know.
Mediator: Okay, I think that's it for today. I think our goal for the next week should be a bit smaller, like to stop trying to outdo each other at the shoplifting. If you have to shoplift something, I mean, just go with a pencil or whatever.
Anonymous 4: Okay, I'm out of here.
Mediator: All right, everyone else...wait, wasn't there an extra chair in here?
Anonymous 2: Ooh, he's good.