Today is the day to spring clean, belatedly.
This is the Last Dear Zulk, But Don't Worry, We Have a New Column Coming Soon. And Maybe Other New Stuff.
Dear Zulk,
When friends of yours dabble in the arts, at what point is it okay to stop
"supporting" them? I have a musician friend who has been playing
locally for years and years, and he knows that what he does isn't really the
kind of thing I'm into. Still, other friends grief me for no longer attending
his shows. Should I be more supportive?
Signed,
Tired of Space Rock
This is a toughie. First, you should know that you are a good friend, because really, why hasn't this guy given up his hobby yet? Years and years? For real? Get a job!
You can still be supportive, though, without having to go to every show. People can never get mad at you for being too busy, and so you should have a chat with your friend. "Listen, Zoomtron," or whatever his stage-name is. "You know how happy I am for you and your burgeoning local-coffee-house music career. Unfortunately, work is a total bitch and between that and going to the gym and attending the needs of my girlfriend/dog/mother, plus the softball league, I can't go to as many of your gigs as I'd like to. I know, it really sucks. Hey, you have something in your teeth. Anyway, can you just give me a heads up when you have the really big shows? I don't see that I can't at least come to a few shows a year, so why don't you let me know which are the most important to you? Also, will they serve alcohol there?"
That way, your friend knows you at least care about him as a friend. And maybe you'll luck out and he'll realize that none of his gigs actually count as being 'important,' and so he won't really call on you to attend, but he'll know that you care.
Also, email him after gigs, if you really feel bad about it.
"How was the show?" That way he knows you're thinking about him,
even though he really should be shot.