May 19, 2004

Today is the day to wish my mom a happy birthday.

***ORDER MY BOOK!-NOW AVAILABLE ON POWELLS!***

Dear Zulk Tackles TV

Dear Zulk:

I LOVE Lucy and Everybody LOVES Raymond. Lucy and Raymond are probably the most unlikable characters ever on sitcom TV (let's forget the Olsen Twins for the moment). Are we supposed to love them despite or because of their terrible flaws? Let's face it, if we knew them in real life, we'd shun them.

I have to speak up, first, that while I am no fan of the Olsen Twins, I'm sorry, the twins that are Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, they were not that obnoxious when they were on "Full House." I am aware that they are on other shows but those shows do not exist in my world. Anyway, the most annoying character on "Full House" was not, as popularly believed, Uncle Joey, but Stephanie, the crimp-haired, embittered, ugly middle child who had some awful catchphrase but I don't remember it. Anyway, I think the Olsen Twins were fairly innocuous on the show. They suffered some pretty bad forced cuteness later on in the form of thumbs-ups and the use of the word 'dude,' but still, things could have been worse. Although would you believe that for some reason my parents at one point didn't let me watch the show? I had restrictions on what I was allowed to see in Prime Time. Because you remember how racy TGIF was back then.

Anyway. I neither love nor hate Raymond or Lucy. I'm pretty ambivalent towards both of them. For Raymond, I have this odd compulsion where I pretty much watch no network shows that are not on NBC or FOX (with the exception of "America's Next Top Model.") Does everybody really love Raymond? I cannot say.

And for Lucy. Am I allowed to say this? I don't see what's so funny about the show. It's a screaming, mugging, zany sitcom. Do I appreciate that Lucille Ball was an important comedienne? Yes. Did she provide me with lots of yuks? No.

I sort of feel left out in this vein, like the way I do about how I don't know anything about Buffy the Vampire Slayer or The O.C. These are topics I will probably cover some other time. It's like a club that I feel left out of even though I'm perfectly welcome to join.

The only television show that uses the word "love" accurately is E!'s "I Love the Nineties," because who doesn't love reminiscing about something that occurred 5 years ago? Ah. Five years ago? Can you believe that even occurred, something as long as five years ago? I love it.